Admit it, you've shared at least one of these quotes on Facebook before. It might have been to impress a girl with a ribcage tattoo of the tree of life, or maybe—in addition to being a flip cup prodigy—you just wanted people to know you were someone who possessed uniqueness and depth.
In any case, if you've ever said any of these quotes thinking you're paying homage to history, take stock in the fact that millions of other people also incorrectly think Marilyn Monroe was a poignant woman. Spoiler alert: she wasn't.
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Despite the popularity of this quote, the great Sherlock Holmes (pictured above as played by Iron Man) has never said such a phrase! This line comes from P.G. Wodehouse's book, Psmith, Journalist, and reads as "Elementary my dear Watson, elementary."
Unfortunately, the real quote is a lot less concise than what we've been told Churchill said:
"What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone? How else can we put ourselves in harmonious relation with the great verities and consolations of the infinite and the eternal? And I avow my faith that we are marching towards better days. Humanity will not be cast down. We are going on swinging bravely forward along the grand high road and already behind the distant mountains is the promise of the sun."
Sure, Twain said a lot of poignant things, but this quote can be traced back to Edward Ward from his 1724 book The Dancing Devils. Call me crazy, but last time I checked, Edward Ward and Mark Twain weren't the same person. I don't trust people whose last names are also the last part of their first names.
Al Gore did not invent the Internet and he never claimed to do such a thing. This was taken out of context from a statement in which he funded an initiative in creating the Internet: "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system."
This is actually based on a quote said by an unknown person, but it does sound pretty Gandhi-like, doesn't it?
This quote actually comes from a particularly boring financier named Bernard Baruch and it goes like this: "I never bother about that. Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."
As far as misquotes go, this one isn't too bad. Except Teddy Roosevelt never said walk softly, it's "Speak softly, and carry a big stick."
So, the story goes that a man named David Hannum was exhibiting a statue that P.T. Barnum desperately wanted. Instead of buying the statue from Hannum, Barnum made a cheap replica...that people still flocked to see. In response, it was Hannum who said this quote about Barnum's corner-cutting.
Everyone always leaves out the "a" before "man" when they say this famous Armstrong quote...which kind of kills the meaning of the phrase as "man" and "mankind" are synonymous. Duh.
You'll be surprised to know that Kentucky Fried Chicken wasn't even around until 65 years after Lincoln's death! So, there's actually no way our nation's 16th president could have even come remotely close to even one delicious, crispy piece of fried chicken.
Jeremy Glass is a staff writer at Supercompressor and sees the moon almost constantly.