14 Jobs You're Allowed To Drink On
Drinking on the job might sound appealing at times, but unless you're a fictional character on a critically acclaimed period drama, opening up a bottle during office hours is a good sign that you'll be updating your resume soon, and approximately no one in human history has enjoyed doing that. Being a responsible adult means waiting until you're off the clock before you open up the liquor cabinet.
But if you were interested in being a responsible adult, you wouldn't have clicked on this article. No, you're interested in learning about the wonderful careers your guidance counselor glossed over. These jobs don't simply permit drinking—some even encourage it.
Suddenly, updating the "experience" section of your resume doesn't sound so terrible.
Drinking prospects: Pretty high. When your primary gig involves being able to describe wine professionally, it helps to drink enough of the stuff to offer an informed opinion. It may be the kind of job that gives you headaches for reasons completely unrelated to stress, but that's worth it for some people. Unfortunately there might be a spit bucket when you're tasting that you're expected to use.
How to do it: Technically, anyone working at a restaurant with a reasonable interest in wine can claim to be a sommelier, but getting the proper education gives you a better shot at landing this job. Plus, the classes you'll take on your way to certification will actually be worth the tuition for once.
2. Development coordinator
Drinking prospects: If you're able to keep it under control, you can happily expense your evenings out. A development coordinator is generally expected to convince rich people to give up their money, and this is a lot easier to do after taking them out for dinner and drinks.
How to do it: It's helpful to have a degree related to the non-profit you'll be working for, but as long as you can convince a potential employer that you know how to stay organized and can get donors to write big checks, you might have a shot.
Drinking prospects: Making beer may seem like fun, but it can become a chore pretty quickly if you're not allowed to taste your creation. Thankfully, plenty of breweries let their employees sample their batches from time to time. You probably won't have many opportunities to get smashed on the job, but you can be the hip guy who tasted a beer before it was cool.
How to do it: You have to know about beer. A lot about it. If you've merely made a batch of alcohol-infused pond water with your home brewing kit, you're probably not a candidate. But if you grew up in the business, spent time working at breweries, and understand beer on a professional level, you're the right person for the job. You also are legally obligated to have a large beard.
4. Travel writer
Drinking prospects: The job of the travel writer involves exploring the world and telling readers how they should spend their vacations. And that means reporting on anything from lounging on the beach to the specialty cocktails from the famed local bars.
How to do it: A degree in journalism or communications is a pretty standard expectation, but if you're able to make an impression via blogging or freelancing, you might land the job that will make the rest of your friends jealous forever.
5. Startup employee
Drinking prospects: Better than you think. When your job involves putting in the kind of hours that may slowly eat away at your sanity, having an easily-accessible stress reliever is a tremendous help. That's why big companies like Yelp are letting employees take advantage of office kegs. So long as you're not playing beer pong while programming, you can enjoy happy hour without leaving your desk.
How to do it: There are a lot of opportunities at the newer generations of tech companies, but having a background in computers is obviously the way to go. Learn some Python, chief.
6. Food critic
Drinking prospects: Round of waters? Not a chance. That steak needs to be paired with good old fashioned adult grape juice.
How to do it: Writing experience is obviously a must, but you also need extensive knowledge of the culinary arts. A popular food blog helps too.
7. Liquor store employee
Drinking prospects: On occasion. Grabbing bottles off the shelves is a good way to get fired, but the classier places often have regular tastings, which, if your employer is cool, you may get to participate in.
How to do it: Have you ever been to a liquor store? Unless you're running the operation, not much experience outside of "I didn't get kicked out of high school" is necessary.
Drinking prospects: This depends on your personality. Obviously, plenty of authors put in normal hours like the rest of us, but when you're your own boss, there's little to stop you from reaching for some liquid inspiration whenever you damn please.
How to do it: Ignore all common sense.
Drinking prospects: Whether or not you can partake of the establishment's stock depends on a lot of factors. Most bars frown on it, many completely forbid it, but if you own the place, or have a good relationship with the people who do, you can pour yourself a drink every now and then. Granted, this has proven to be a pretty good way of getting featured on Bar Rescue, but hey, being on TV is fun.
How to do it: Depending on where you seek work, getting a bartending job isn't that difficult, but if your aim is to drink on the job, starting your own is the best way to go. Coincidentally, the process of planning a successful bar involves so much work that you'll need several drinks by the time you're done.
10. Advertising executive
Drinking prospects: Mad Men may not be as outdated as you think. Numerous ad agencies are letting their employees indulge their inner Don Draper, offering free office drinks to curb the pressures of long hours, deadlines, and existential despair that comes along with working at a place like Sterling-Cooper. Unlike your favorite fictional ad execs, though, you'll be expected to wait for the work day to wind down before you imbibe. Those three-martini lunches are over.
How to do it: Interning and freelancing are valid options, along with pursuing an appropriate degree, depending on what role you want in the company. Just don't walk into the interview with a cigarette in one hand and a martini in the other. The line between reality and fiction is one you should watch closely.
Drinking prospects: If you're working sales for a big business, there's reason to believe you may actually feel pressured to spend your nights at the bar. Making deals means making relationships, and, traditionally, one of the easiest ways to do this has been to buy clients drinks. So, basically, one of your job responsibilities is to pretend you're still a college student.
How to do it: Get an MBA, take an entry-level job and show your skills, blackmail the boss—whatever it takes to climb the corporate ladder. Definitely not one of the easier options on this list, especially when you account for the eventual damage to your liver.
12. Public relations associate
Drinking prospects: Another gig that requires you to be charming with people who can make or break your business. Your usual duties won't give you the opportunity to get a buzz, but from time to time, you'll be in situations that demand a certain level of inebriation.
How to do it: A degree in communications is a good place to start, but people come to PR through tons of different channels, especially niche PR beats. People with performance skills often do well in these roles as well. It's a nice option if your stand-up comedian career doesn't pan out.
Drinking prospects: Like bartending, you may be able to get away with drinking on the job if you can convince your supervisor that it's not hurting the business, or your ability to work. It depends on whether your employer trusts you, and whether or not you have a tendency to drunkenly confuse your condiments.
How to do it: Getting professional kitchen experience is something you can start during high school, but if you want to have the kind of clout that gives you free reign of the bar, you're better off attending cooking school and working your way up the restaurant hierarchy so you can make your own rules.
14. Famous performer
Drinking prospects: You can drink on stage. You can drink during interviews. You can drink during meetings. You can drink so much that you can throw the kind of destructive tantrum that would impress the Hulk, and barely get a slap on the wrist. It's a pretty sweet deal.
How to do it: Believe in yourself, follow your dreams, sell your soul, and disappoint your parents.
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