26. Choose a date
Did you know that taking a date anywhere with a drive-thru is actually interpreted as a vow of celibacy in some cultures?
27. Keep a living space
Don't give off the wrong vibes. Hollywood has taught us that if you can’t keep a house, there is a 100 percent chance that you're a serial killer.
28. Build a goddamn fire
It's one of the first things humans achieved. DO NOT be the specimen who disproves evolution.
29. Brew a damn fine cup of coffee
Refusing to offer coffee to guests who have slept over is the non-verbal equivalent of cursing their families. Offering terrible coffee is the non-verbal equivalent of cursing your own.
30. Start a conversation
Does your opening line at the bar involve slurred references to Battlestar Galactica? Then why are you at the bar? It's past your bedtime.
Joe Oliveto is a staff writer at Supercompressor and he's gonna take so much heat from friends and family who know he can't do several of these things. Follow him on Twitter.
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