Brace yourself, gyms of the world—the New Year’s resolution-makers are coming. The beginning of January means everyone is committing to “New Year, New Me” by purging their pantries of junk food, ditching booze in favor of Dry January, and running to their nearest fitness center to fork over their holiday bonuses on gym memberships. Spoiler alert: You probably won’t stick to the gym and waste hundreds of dollars because cancelling a membership requires a law degree. Save yourself the guilt, the headache and the cash by buying new bottles of alcohol instead. These 10 bottles are around the same price as the most basic, monthly membership rates for 10 of the most popular fitness chains in the U.S.* Choose wisely.
*Note - Prices of both gym memberships and liquor bottles vary greatly across the United States. These prices are based off New York City rates. Monthly membership rate does not include annual dues or initiation fees. Alcohol rates include every last drop of sweet, boozy goodness.
LA Fitness embodies the city of Los Angeles by encouraging sculpted and toned bodies like the ones running down the Venice Beach boardwalk. Embrace the spirit of L.A. a different way by kicking back with a glass of Espolón Blanco tequila. Whether you drink the floral, peppery agave spirit in a classic Margarita or take it as a shot, make sure to pair it with lots of tacos.
Gold’s Gym earned a reputation in the early ‘70s for being the go-to gym for muscular bodybuilders, pumping iron in the hopes of getting ripped like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Prove your fortitude by drinking this overproof rum from Plantation. The Old Fashioned Traditional Dark Rum is bottled at a whopping 138 proof, which is sure to make you exclaim its unofficial acronym: “Oh f*ck that’s delicious.”
Support your decision to bail on joining Anytime Fitness by picking up a bottle of anytime whiskey, like the Eagle Rare 10-Year bourbon. The oaky, caramelly taste is equally great in a toasty, wintery Hot Toddy as it is in an icy, summery Mint Julep, so it’s perfect for enjoying year round.
Ladies, instead of joining this vaguely pandering, women-focused gym, indulge in this earthy, aromatic American gin from California. It tastes delicious whether you’re the type of woman who prefers a spritzy Gin & Tonic or a strong, extra-dry Martini.
If you pick up a bottle of this rich blended scotch, which used to be known as Johnnie Walker Platinum Label, you’ll find yourself thinking about it 24 hours a day. And salivating over those notes of vanilla, cereal and gentle smoke is a much better use of your time than stressing over making it to 24 Hour Fitness after work.
Getting into an exercise regimen is anything but a snap, with all the early alarm clocks and late night classes and mid-afternoon showers. You know what actually is a snap? Making a Caipirinha. With this aged caçhaca, you’ll be able to whip up the Brazilian cocktail—which doesn’t even require shaking or a mixing glass—in no time.
Crunch Fitness claims to be a “No Judgement” zone for people of all athletic abilities. Another thing that will never judge you is a stiff glass of this rare mezcal, which you could easily drink a whole bottle of in one sitting. OK, maybe don’t do that—but hey, no judgments.
You could say that drinking a quality Japanese whisky in a proper Highball is a once in a lifetime experience (OK, we’re done with the puns now). But actually, having this Suntory bottling on your bar cart is way better than entering the anxiety-inducing, mall-like sprawls that are Lifetime Fitness locations—though the waterparks at some clubs are definitely tempting.
Yes, cold eucalyptus towels, Kiehl's shower products and a juice bar are pretty amazing perks, but will those amenities make you smile as much as putting this rare Wild Turkey reserve bourbon to your lips? We think not. The barrel-strength whiskey has notes of charred wood, brown sugar and tobacco, and even comes in a fancy, elegant bottle that aesthetic-loving Equinox patrons would surely appreciate.
For only $10, you can stock up on a whole handle of Nikolai, a dirt cheap vodka from the Sazerac Company that tastes better than the price tag would have you believe. But for that low amount of money, you might as well join Planet Fitness—they have free pizza on the first Monday of every month.