Food & Drink

The Best Boozy Wisdom From Our Favorite Cocktail Menus

A good bar menu guides you toward the best drinks and spirits, no matter what you feel like imbibing on that particular day. But some of the best bar menus at our favorite watering holes offer more than just cocktail ingredients; they offer mind-altering wisdom you’ll take with you throughout your life. Not only will you leave these bars satisfied with some of the best cocktails available, you’ll also leave feeling a bit wiser after heeding their advice.

“Alcohol, eggs, sex, undercooked foods and most enjoyable things in life can and will kill you if you give them enough time. Live life to the fullest until then.” - Canon, Seattle, WA

“Put anger to work in matters of dishonor. Take your time. Temper the blade. Do not spare the hollow heart.” - The Dead Rabbit, New York, NY

“That flickering light you forgot to turn off has lured thousands of moths to ruin.” - Trick Dog, San Francisco, CA

“Certain gentleman of other days. Who made of drinking one of the pleasures of life—not one of its evils; Who, whatever they drank, proved able to carry it, keep their heads, and remain gentlemen.” - Nightjar, London, England

“Remember gentlemen, it’s not just France we are fighting for, it’s Champagne!” - Quinary, Hong Kong, China

“To those who enjoy snug club rooms, that they may learn the art of preparing for themselves what is good.” - The Merchant Hotel Bar, Belfast, Northern Ireland

“Money, greed, riches… the skillset to exploit what’s most valuable has always been an easy reach for man. Whether it’s for noble purposes or not, Gordon Gekko was a liar kids, and greed most certainly is not good!” - Dandelyan, London, England

“We are still heartily of the opinion that decent libation supports as many million lives as it threatens; donates pleasure and sparkle to more lives than it shadows; inspires more brilliance in the world of art, music, letters, and common ordinary intelligent conversation, than it dims.” - Holiday Cocktail Lounge, New York, NY