How to Make Small Talk Like a Bartender
We’ve all been there—you’re at a party with a bunch of strangers, and you’re finding it difficult to strike up interesting conversations with the people around you. Bartenders have to deal with this sort of thing all the time. Our friends behind the stick spend entire nights interacting with strangers. So we turned to the pros for some expert advice on how to make small talk like a pro. Check out how they expertly handle the bartender-customer interaction, and try applying it next time you’re striking up a convo with a stranger.
Ask How Their Day Is Going
“I always start with, ‘How is your day going so far?’ It opens the door to the guest letting me know how they are—good or bad—and why they are dining or drinking with us. It also lets me gauge if the guest wants to chat or not based on their response.” - Ryan Dimmick, Sullivan’s Steakhouse Charlotte
Ask If They Come Here Often
“It really depends on the vibe of the night. I like to observe the guests for a minute and gauge their interest in the space and the performers we have for that evening. My go-to opening line is usually, ‘Is this your first time visiting The Seville?’ And from there I’ll ask them their taste preferences to determine what cocktail will suit them best” - Mcson Salicetti, The Seville
Keep the Subject Matter Light
“You want to stick with subjects that are neutral to connect with people easily. Obviously sports are a big yes. Stay away from politics and religion; those are no-go subjects. People don’t want to hear about them while drinking, nor do they want to hear about your opinion. Ultimately, keep it light and simple.” - Shawn Chen, RedFarm
“Keep it simple and use your surroundings. If there is a game on TV, you can ask if [they] caught the end of last night’s fourth quarter buzzer beater. Anything goes, and you can keep conversation going by elaborating and not using short answers. Try to stay away from direct opinions about divisive issues.” Colin Silva, SĒR Steak + Spirits
Extend an Old-Fashioned Handshake
“Hand shakes are always nice (however, I usually have to apologize for damp bartender hands).” - Dominic Carullo, Royal Boucherie
Express Genuine Interest in the Other Person
“Being great at small talk means being great at reading whomever is in front of you. You should be looking for any commonalities or distinctive qualities: sports teams apparel, tattoos or anything that can have a personal touch on it (phone case covers, etc.) It's always good to stay up on common events because that can always spark a conversation. Here's also a tip I stand by: Always ask more questions than giving responses. Conversations are more about listening than responding." - Alex Chien, Watershed Kitchen & Bar
“There are so many connections to be made just from simply finding out a little about a person's business. Common topics of conversation in the Lumber Baron I would say are, for instance, ‘What's going on downtown tonight?’ or ‘Who's the group in the hotel right now?’” - Jeremy Williams, Lumber Baron Bar