
Thereās no duo on TV that screams relationship goals more than Broad Cityās Abbi and Ilana. From Skyping together during literally any situation to always supporting each otherāwhether itās trying to score Lilā Wayne tickets, surviving terrible parties or simply getting to a weddingāthe ultra-relatable BFFs make mid-20s city life look just as messy and fun as it should be. Theyāve made us laugh, theyāve made us question our own life choices, and theyāve taught us a lotāespecially when it comes to drinking. Here, Abbi and Ilanaās nine most essential drinking lessons. Always remember to ācarpe dayum!ā
When you need a drink at the gym, just ask for some ākom-booze-cha.ā
āDonāt steal that, though. I came up with it.ā
Bloody Mary mix doesnāt remove stainsābut itās always good to have on hand.
āI just remembered that was the wrong trick. Tomato juice is for skunk sprays.ā
When the wine runs out, thereās always moonshine.
Abbi: āI canāt believe we finished a whole bottle already.ā
Kelly Ripa: āOh, thatās OK. Iāve been meaning to crack open a special batch.ā
Abbi: āWhat is that?ā
Kelly Ripa: āMoonshine.ā
Events are all about free food and drinksāno matter the cost.
Waiter: āCan I interest anyone in a dose of reality? Some mac and cheese balls fried in truffle oil ⦠just now a child in South America died of starvation. Would you like another?ā
Abbi: āYou know what, I would. They're really good.ā
Waiter: āJust now a child in Southāā
Abbi: āDo you just have that one fact that you repeat?ā
Waiter: āWell, you're the first people to actually want a second.ā
Donāt let things get too heavy when you play āNever Have I Everāāor youāll all end up drunk.
āNever have I ever, um, dealt with how my parents' divorce affected my overall, you know, being in relationships.ā
Put your wine glass down if youāre going to accidentally stab yourself with an epipen.
āADRENALIIIIIIINE!ā
If you canāt afford a host gift, fake it, baby, fake it.
āPsyyyych.ā
If you canāt remember what you did last night, you were probably realizing your alternate persona āValā at a speakeasy. And maybe eating your nose ring.
āI love diamonds.ā
Whiskey, fancy coats and best friends fix everything.

āDude, I would follow you into hell, brother!ā