Your 3 a.m. Self Will Thank You for Stocking up on These Snacks
Some people prepare a bug-out bag in anticipation of the pending apocalypse, but we’re more concerned about stocking up on late night snacks. Pizza at 3 a.m. and dead-of-night taco quests are great (if you have the patience), but what if your craving hits right as you’re settling in to a movie at home? Or it’s really cold outside? Or you can’t find your pants? As the Scouts say, “Always be prepared.”
The best munchies should be easy to prepare, not too perishable and pack a whole lot of satisfying flavor. Here are our favorite snacks to keep stocked at all times.
Pizza in the morning. Pizza in the evening. Pizza at suppertime. When pizza’s on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime—including 4 a.m.
Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
Scientists polled countless boozed-up subjects on their ideal cravings in order to develop the seasoning on Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. OK, that’s not quite true, but they are so insanely good, you can finish a 30-oz bag in under 30 seconds.
You shouldn’t be within 50 feet of a deep fryer if you’ve been drinking, so if onion rings are the only thing that will satisfy your salty needs, pop open a bag of Funyuns instead.
Kraft Mac & Cheese
You could get by with microwaveable Easy Mac, but we believe you’re up to the challenge of a full box. Plus, you can adjust the ratio of seasoning, butter and milk to your liking. You can even add extra cheese—or some of those Flamin’ Hot Cheetos (we won’t tell anyone).
Cereal is drunchie de rigueur among lazy drinkers, but for our money, nothing beats marshmallowy Lucky Charms. Just try not to annoy anyone with your fake Irish accent as you giggle and repeat, “They’re magically delicious.”
What did we even do before Nutella? Was there food? Did people enjoy it? What did they eat by the spoonful (or handful) over the sink?
Toaster waffles are blank canvases for your craziest boozy desires. Top ‘em with OG maple syrup or butter, or get wild with chocolate syrup, hot sauce, marshmallow fluff, the aforementioned Nutella, or whatever else you have on hand. Remember those Flamin’ Hot Cheetos?
Do you have milk? Good. Then break out the Oreos, and try not to finish an entire sleeve. Best of luck.
Watch the splatter and don’t rush the bacon. Just patiently marvel as it crisps up and fills the kitchen with deliciously meaty aromas. Eat it by the pile.
Drinking may leave you a little heated, so cool off with a pint—of Ben and Jerry’s, that is. Bonus points for DIY toppings—do we even have to say it? Flamin’. Hot. Cheetos.
The smell of instant ramen could rouse even the weariest of partiers. Feel the rising steam tickle your face as you slump over a bowl and slurp the spicy noodles with sheer abandon. Pro tip: If you’re feeling fancy, add an egg.
Jerky / Slim Jims
If you haven’t had a Pop Tart since you were a kid, what are you even doing with your life? The breakfast of champions is also a great late snack, no matter how you prepare it—cold, hot, somewhere in between with stiff edges and a molten center. Delicious.
For the healthy indulger, hummus gives you all the fun of dipping something crunchy into something creamy, without all the guilt of doing so with Doritos and hot fudge.
Whether it’s American Kraft Singles in a grilled cheese, string cheese by the value pack, or Cheese Whiz ejected from can to mouth, night cheese is always the right cheese.
Peanut Butter and Jelly
Your mom may not be around to cut off the crusts, but a late night PB&J will make everything right with the world. No matter how your evening went, a PB&J can only make it better.