Ron Swanson’s Best Quotes About Drinking
Mustachioed man’s man Ron Swanson knows a thing or two about how to sip whisky on just about any occasion, but his wisdom also extends to a range of other alcohol-related topics—from happy hour conversation to family drinking traditions. If he can keep the Parks & Recreational Department of Pawnee, Indiana, on track, he can certainly help you drink better too. Here, Ron Swanson’s most sage, Lagavulin-fueled quotes about booze.
On His Legendary Drinking Tolerance"Swansons have a preternaturally high tolerance for alcohol. My old man used to put Wild Turkey on his corn flakes."
On His Go-To Hangover Cure“Never been hungover. After I’ve had too much whiskey, I cook myself a large flank steak, pan-fried in salted butter. I eat that, put on a pair of wet socks and go to sleep.”
On Refined Conversation“Maybe a drink will help—put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out.”
On Inclusive Drinking Methods“There is no wrong way to consume alcohol.”
On Deciding to Go out“There will be alcohol there, so I will go as well.”
On His Precious Lagavulin“Prepare to experience true freedom and bliss.”
More On Lagavulin“Nectar of the gods.”
Nick Offerman (a.k.a. Ron Swanson in Real Life) on Lagavulin“If you go back and look at a lot of that stuff [like Ron’s trip to Lagavulin], you might see a tear rolling down my face.”
On Travel“All my life I’ve avoided Europe, and it’s multitudes of terribleness, but it turns out, much to my surprise, there is actually one place in Europe that is worth seeing. These tiny islands off the coast of Scotland, where God’s chosen elixirs are distilled, barrelled, and prepared for consumption. This is worth the trip.”
On Blue Drinks“I don’t drink alcohol from that portion of the color spectrum.”
On His Drinking HabitsAnn: “How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?”
Ann: “That’s it? One drink?”
Ron: “One shelf.”