Accidentally meeting your favorite celebrity sounds incredible. All too often, however, it’s deeply disappointing. But there are exceptions out there. The gold standard of those exceptions is, of course, Bill Murray. This is a man who’s been known to crash karaoke parties, give impromptu speeches to bachelors, pick up a bartending shift or two, and join strangers in cinematic slo-mo walks. He’s the anti-Mel Gibson: approachable, laid-back and friendly.
The universe gifted me my own Bill Murray moment about 10 years ago, when I wandered into the Huntley Hotel in Santa Monica and saw him sitting alone at the bar. I’d met Murray once before through mutual friends and reintroduced myself. Thirty minutes later we were on our second bottle of red wine, shooting the shit like the old friends we weren’t. It was like someone snuck into my mind and made my personal Bill Murray fantasy come true.
At one point, a woman approached and asked Murray if he’d mind if she took a picture to give to her sister who was “the world’s biggest Bill Murray fan.” She nervously snapped the photo, then apologized and started to leave. But before she could, Murray poured her a glass of wine and asked if he could call her sister. Then he spent a solid 10 minutes making a stranger in Indiana feel like a million bucks. I have never seen anything like it.
I have a theory that we spend far too much time preoccupied with celebrities who behave badly and not nearly enough celebrating those who know how to have a good time. Which is why I’m inaugurating the Bill Murray All Stars, the dream team of celebrities that ordinary folks would have a great time partying with. Here’s the current roster.
In a 2014 GQ interview, the “Chanimal” (yes, that’s really his nickname) boasted of being an insane partier who “pushes the limit almost at every turn.” The Magic Mike star has made it rain beads at Mardi Gras in New Orleans (where he’s co-owner of a joint called Saints & Sinners), loves vodka so much that he launched his own brand, and, lest we forget, has abs that can beat up everyone else’s abs combined. Plus, who wouldn’t want to hang with a dude who gets a few drinks in him and makes homoerotic bets with his friends?
Turns out Drake really likes to have a good time. He loves glasses of cold Spades, shots and rosé, in that order. But he’s not immune to the charms of Santa Margherita by the liter, red wine over fed time, Henny, D’usse, and chilled Patrón (which, by the way, he prefers on warm nights). But the main reason Drake makes the cut is the possibility that this guy might show up.
The books she’s written include My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, and Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb to say Chelsea is totally DTF: Drinking Team Fit.
Every team needs someone to play defense—and that’s where BC comes in. The man is a human breathalyzer. Once you’ve reached the point when you can no longer pronounce his name, you know it’s time to go home.
There are two rules for hanging with this notorious madman: First, don’t bring up bees. Secondly, don’t bring Vince Neil.
Amy Schumer is hilarious and seems like a truly wonderful human beneath the train-wreck facade. But she makes the team because she’s BFFs with Jennifer Lawrence. Which means if you’re hanging out with Amy Schumer, you and Jennifer Lawrence might become BFFs too.
Some celebrities you want to meet in a bar. Others are best to meet on airplanes. Sure the once and future Oasis frontman has lost a few steps since his heyday, when he tried to bribe a Qantas Airlines flight attendant to let him smoke dope in first class. And there was that time he was banned for life by Cathay Pacific Airlines for getting wasted and threatening a pilot with a scone. But he makes the cut due to his legendary stamina, as evidenced during an 11-hour bender with Lily Allen on a flight to Japan. Plus, at the end of the day, you need someone on the squad who knows that, in the right hands, baked goods are the deadliest weapons of all.
Because you might just end up staying up all night drinking limoncello.
Neil Patrick Harris
First off, free Heineken. Second, it’s a chance to get to the bottom of one of life’s great mysteries, namely how How I Met Your Mother managed to stay on the air for nine years. My theory is that someone on the show had incriminating pictures of Les Moonves. Only NPH knows for sure.
Because it’s your chance to get royally housed.
Four words: Best. Designated. Driver. Ever.