So, you think vodka is boring because it’s flavorless? Well, the industry heard you loud and clear, and rewarded you, for better or worse, with a plethora of flavored vodkas. What started as simple and somewhat obvious flavors like citrus, vanilla and raspberry, quickly got out of hand as companies seemingly spun a roulette wheel of potential flavors. The result is a range of absolutely insane flavors that you not only never knew existed, but likely never even thought possible. Here, the weirdest flavored vodkas on the market right now.
A product of the Great Bacon Craze of 2009, Bakon’s bacon-flavored vodka gives Bloody Marys a subtle, smokey meat flavor. Do you need to add a touch of savory character to a drink? Bakon. Is there something lacking in you brunch drink? Bakon. Do you own a bacon onesie and couldn’t stop think about bacon while watching Okja? Bakon.
For those who mourn the disappearance of smoke-filled dive bars, Ivanabitch (real name) offers a tobacco-and-menthol-flavored vodka. It’s the taste without the lung damage, and will remind you about that time you accidentally dropped a Kool into your vodka Martini and just kept drinking it anyway.
The Scoville scale measures the spice level in chile peppers. For example, a jalapeño comes in at 3,500 SHU (Scoville heat units). Naga Chilli vodka comes in at a whopping 250,000 SHU. 250,000 Scovilles is like taking the hottest thing you’ve ever eaten, multiplying that by 100 and then drinking it. Proceed with caution and a tall glass of milk.
Homer Simpson’s flavor of choice is just as good for a dessert drink as it is for breakfast. When you want to keep your brunch going after your orange juice filled Mimosa is empty, Glazed Donut vodka is there for you.
While most of us were out there chasing the candy side of nostalgia, Van Gogh Vodka went after the playground classic PB&J. It’ll remind you of the years when a mid-morning recess took the edge off the day.
Picklebacks, with their separate shots of liquor and brine, are just way too much work. But that doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the glorious combo of sour and booze. Try Naked Jay and you’ll see why pickles and alcohol are such a big dill.
For the bloodiest of Bloody Marys. One of the keys to a better Bloody Mary is finding the right balance between alcohol and tomato, and if your taste is very much on the “more tomato” side, then you need tomato vodka.
Essentially the chocolate version of salted caramel flavored vodka (also a real thing) with, we can only assume, a hint of yeast. With the combination of salt, pretzel and chocolate, you really can’t go wrong.
Everyone knows the best part of a cupcake is the frosting, even Cupcake brand vodka. With frosting vodka, you can skip right to that best part and avoid all the crumbles.
Fresh Cut Grass
Fresh cut grass is one of the top five scents of all time—this is not up for debate—but we’ve never thought about drinking the stuff before (promise). This could be a yard chore game changer and we can only assume it’s a Les Miles favorite.
Electricity-flavored vodka is worrying for a few of reasons. The first being that you cannot drink electricity. The second being that liquids and electricity should not mix. Third, we’re not Nikola Tesla. It does, however, make us rethink our recipe for our Pokémon Team Instinct signature cocktail.
This Oddka offering doesn’t frighten us nearly as much as Electricity, and has the added bonus of a flavor that we can all understand. Plus it would taste awesome in our green, sushi-inspired Maki Mary.
Salty Caramel Popcorn
Finally, the perfect spirit to sneak into the movies. Who would’ve thought that someone would come up with a flavored vodka that both satisfies your caramel corn craving and gets around the exorbitant theater popcorn cost?
Don’t get too excited: This hemp infusion will only get you tipsy, putting this vodka squarely in the ranks of THC-free cannabis alcohol. It’s far from the only marijuana inspired vodka (Humboldt Distillery has one, as does the gloriously named Dr. Stoner’s), and with the way things are going with legalization this is a flavor that will stick around for a while.
Just to be clear, “purple” is not, and never has been, a flavor. But, according to Three Olives, it tastes like frozen grapes, and if Oddka can get away with “electricity,” Three Olives can get away with purple.
Cola and vodka might sound like a strange combination, but everything deserves a chance. The flavor combo is reportedly a favorite of Taylor Swift, who downs vodka and Diet Coke like a college freshman with an empty mini fridge. Taylor, we found your new post-show drink.
While not as universally beloved as its chocolate chip cousin, the sugar cookie is a basic crowd pleaser. It’s just plain enough to be delicious and inoffensive, and we can’t imagine this vodka to be any different.
Various Flavors of Whipped Cream
Tired of boring old whipped cream vodka? Good news. Pinnacle now makes flavored whipped cream vodkas like orange whipped cream. This is, essentially, third wave flavored vodka, where the only flavors left to make are flavors based on other flavors.