Don your helmet, slap on your knee pads and buckle up, because you’re about to get an anti-crash course in the most dangerous drinking games in the world. Please do not misconstrue our featuring these terrible games as any sort of endorsement. You should never, ever, ever play any of them. From hammers to live wires to fire, here are the stupidest, most insane, most dangerous drinking games of all time. Consider this a PSA.
Double fisting drinks can be a bad idea. But double fisting a drink and a hammer is always a horrible idea—and that’s exactly what you’ll be doing for the entire duration of a game of Stump. Consequences of that set up are exactly what you’d imagine.
The game is inspired by the German Hammerschlagen and was popularized by New England frat boys, though it’s particularly popular in the Philadelphia area. According to WorldStump, the rules are as follows: Players gather around a tree stump decorated with nails, pounded into the surface of the wood just enough to stay upright. Each player takes a turn flipping their hammer and slamming it down on an opponent’s nail in one smooth motion. If the strike is successful, the opposing player drinks. If the player misses, drops the hammer, spills his or her own beer, or pauses before striking, he or she must drink instead.
Other rules add a bit of whimsy to the injury-inducing game. For example, if a hit causes sparks to fly off the nail, everyone must yell “spaaks” (“sparks” in a Boston accent, in honor of the game’s Northeastern origins) and drink together.
Shockingly, after a few rounds, hammers tend to miss the stump altogether, landing on shins, or hands, or faces. If you must play, play safe with protection like the eternal guru of drinking games, Jimmy Fallon.
If you see the Toques man coming in Mexico City, run out of the bar and never look back. These roving game masters wander the streets of the Mexican capital by night, with large battery packs strapped to their back and a pair of metal handles, ready to dispense a current of electricity into unwary drinkers.
The idea of Toques, which translates to “touches,” is to withstand as much shock as possible, as the Toques man slowly ups the voltage. According to Javier Rodriguez, who has tortured bar-goers for 35 years, most people can handle 70 to 85 volts before tapping out, but macho drinkers have been known to push past 100 before passing out. According to Rodriguez, players fainting “usually has something to do with what they've been drinking.” Uh-huh, we buy that.
The rules of this New Zealander drinking game are pretty simple: All players sit in a tree and consume a 24-pack of beer until they fall out of said tree—like a dead possum. The last player left sitting wins (and is in charge of calling the ambulance for all of the fallen players, we assume).
There is nothing inherently dangerous about Neknominate, an online drinking game in which people film themselves pounding a beer, then nominate two other friends to do so within 24 hours. But it took a turn in 2014 when, as happens with all social media challenges, it quickly spiraled out of control. Beyond chugging dangerous amounts of booze, challengers slammed beers while sliding down waterslides, hanging upside down over a toilet, riding surfboards, and even running into traffic. Good thing the internet has the attention span of a hyperactive corgi. It’s doubtful Neknominate will experience a resurgence any time soon.
Napkin, Beer, Cigarette
Anyone who’s ever accidentally drunk a beer that’s been used as an ashtray has been scarred by the taste of the horrible mixture—and should probably avoid this South Korean drinking game at all costs. Drinkers place a large paper napkin over a glass of beer and rest a coin on top. They then take turns burning holes in the napkin with lit cigarettes until the napkin, coin, and ash all fall into the beer. The smoker who committed the final burn must drink the unsavory concoction. Not only is a cocktail of ash, beer and paper absolutely horrible for your innards, but flames, alcohol and intoxicated folk just don’t mix.