9 Signs You’re Finally Drinking Like a Grownup
When you were a 22-year-old, you drank like a 22-year-old. You mixed warm gin with orange juice and Sprite. You slammed down Fireball shots because it was a quick means to an end. You drank wine straight from the bag. But now, you’re a grownup—well, technically. Want to know if you really qualify? Here are nine signs you’re officially drinking like an adult.
You’re Able to Have Just Two Drinks on a Friday Night
You can still hang with the best of them and rage it up on a Friday night—but you don’t have to do that every week. When you’re not feeling it, you’re secure enough to have a couple of cocktails and call it a night. The ones still drinking like young’uns may shake their heads, but they’ll also be holding them in pain the next morning when you’ll be gallivanting through the farmers market (another very grownup thing to do).
Your Ice Trays Are Always Full
Need ice? You’ve got it. You’ve always got it. You worked out a system for rotating trays, you fill tupperware containers full of expertly frozen cubes, you own silicone king cube trays so you can actually get the cubes out without spraining your wrist. You are the ice (wo)man.
You Haven’t Left Your Credit Card at a Bar in at Least One Calendar Year
The walk to retrieve your card the next morning from the bar you were at the previous night is the most shameful walk of shame. Learning to always check your wallet and pockets before you leave a bar (just like you do before you leave the house) is a lesson you master once you’ve entered into true adulthood.
You Actually Choose to Drink Low-ABV Cocktails
When you first started drinking, you scoffed at the idea of a low-ABV drink. “What’s the point?” You’d always ask. But now, you get it. Now, you see the benefits of drinking three cocktails without getting totally shwasted. Now, you are a die-hard spritz-head.
You Don’t Make a Face When You Drink Straight Whiskey
You know “the face.” Your lip curls under, your eyes squint, your nose scrunches up like it’s trying to escape through the top of your head. Well, you don’t make “the face” anymore when you take a sip of bourbon or rye. You break out into a satisfied grin.
You Don’t Have to Lie to Your Doctor (Too Much) About How Much You Drink
You used to break out in a cold sweat when your doctor asked you that dreaded question: “How much would you say you drink in a week?” Every word in your answer would end in a question mark: Three? Drinks? A week? About? Now, though, you know the right way to answer: “I drink socially.”
You Can Have a Drink by Yourself and Not Feel Like a Loser
It takes confidence to be able to sit at a bar solo, and now that you’re a bona fide grownup, you’ve got that confidence. There’s also the fact that now that you’re a real grownup, you’re working a real job, which comes with real stress, which means you really need that after work drink and do not care if any of your friends are able to join or not.
You Know How to Make at Least One Cocktail That Has More Than Two Ingredients
It doesn’t take a cocktail genius to make a Gin & Tonic—the ingredients are right there in the name. But what goes into a Manhattan? How about a Daiquiri? A true drinking grownup can easily whip up one of these (ever so slightly) more complicated cocktails—no Googling needed.
You Still Get the Occasional Hangover—But You’re Prepared for It Now
Just because you drink like a grownup doesn’t mean you don’t also overdo it every now and then. The difference between 22-year-old you and grownup you is that grownup you knows to stock the fridge with La Croix and Bloody Mary supplies, and already has an order for Chinese food ready to go in Seamless. What’s it like being so mature?