7 Huge Bottles of Booze That Are Actually Affordable
There are occasions, both expected and unexpected, that call for massive quantities of liquor. The most obvious scenario is a party, but you’ll also want to be well stocked when you get snowed in for a week, or when you have to weather out the zombie apocalypse in your fallout shelter and need liquid supplies to barter your way through the radiation-riddled wastes. Different as these occasions are, one aspect that remains the same is that the liquor should be affordable. Whether you’re a party planner on a budget, a thrifty winterized shut-in or a penny-pinching doomsdayer, these massive bottles don’t cost much and taste so good, you’ll almost be glad the apocalypse came early).
Kirkland French Vodka ($20 for 1.75L)
Known for their bulk deals, Costco delivers in the bulk booze department (paging drinkers, clean up in aisle three). The superstore’s in-house line includes a shopping cart-load of stellar oversized bottles at bottom shelf prices, but the best of the bunch is Kirkland French Vodka. This Grey Goose-esque bottle kicked off the Kirkland booze cult craze, and it’s worthy of its reputation.
Evan Williams White Label (as low as $27 for 1.75L)
If you want bang for your buck (and low cost alliteration), look no further than Evan Williams’ budget bottled-in-bond bourbon. With notes of peanut butter and chocolate joining the usual bourbon tastes of toffee and caramel, Evan Williams White is an easy sipper even at 100 proof. While it's comparable in price at 750 milliliters to other favorite 100(-ish) proof bourbons like Wild Turkey 101, Evan Williams pulls ahead in terms of value when you upgrade to the XL bottling.
Cruzan Light Aged Rum (as low as $20 for 1.75L)
A blender’s worth of Daiquiris calls for a white rum you don't mind churning into a frothy foam. Cruzan plays that role with unexpected grace. While you may initially take it for some lightning hot, unaged, fiery sugarcane straight from the still, Cruzan lightly ages the rum before filtering it with charcoal to make a lovely gold-tinted spirit that balances sweet vanilla with subtle woody notes.
Smirnoff Vodka (as low as $24 for 1.75L)
You don’t need much else in your freezer if it’s stocked with this super large bottle of Smirnoff (not that there would be much room leftover for anything else anyway). With chilly vodka at the ready at all times, you’re prepared for that sudden Vodka Martini request, and you can spike just about any beverage in the adjacent fridge.
Gordon’s Gin (as low as $16 for 1.75L)
You know you’re getting a steep discount when your booze comes in a plastic bottle. Don’t let the cheapo packing material deter you; it doesn’t implicate the gin inside at all. Gordon’s packs all the same juniper flavor as a bottle at twice the price (and half the size). Your G&Ts (of which there will be many) will taste just as good too.
Fireball (as low as $27 for 1.75L)
No one just likes Fireball a little. You either love the cinnamon-flavored whisky or…you have yet to admit you love the cinnamon-flavored whisky. This bulk bottle is perfect for any true Fireball fan, full of nearly two liters of heavenly taste and hellfire burn. Meanwhile, only the fiercest of dragon tamers should attempt the Firebox, a 3.5-liter behemoth, which can retail as low as $40. Just imagine how many shots could possibly be in there. No way anyone can count that high (80—the answer is 80).
Appleton Estate Signature Blend (as low as $30 for 1.75L)
You won’t find quite as much nuance in the Signature Blend as in the Reserve Blend (another great budget buy at 750-milliliters) or older rums, but you also won’t find those other bottles in such a gargantuanly affordable package. With molasses, citrus and wood all present and accounted for, Appleton’s least expensive offering is perfect for tiki cocktails, making it a worthy choice for stocking your next blowout tiki luau. (What? You don’t have your next blowout tiki luau planned already? Get to it. There’s a lot of rum to be drunk.)