Food & Drink

Fireball Has Proof That Dragons Exist and We Believe Them


It is no secret that we at Supercalllove us some Fireball. We’ve sung the cinnamon whisky’s praises from the rooftops, experimented with it in recipes, rubbed it on our faces, and even whipped up our own homemade batch. But as much as we support the spirit, we can’t help but notice that there’s something fishy—or, rather, dragon-y—about the brand.

Fireball sure does talk a lot about dragons, and we started to wonder if what seemed like clever branding upon first glance wasn’t something more. We’ll just come out and say it: We think Fireball actually has a dragon on staff.

When we contacted our friends at Fireball for comment, we were met with instant hostility:

This only prompted us to launch an even more in-depth, full-fledged investigation. And through our research, we found ample evidence that Fireball not only knows dragons exist, but may have one captive (and possibly even trained it to run their Twitter). Here are 11 signs the Fireball dragon exists.

They’ve demonstrated their ability to catch one.

They’re creating a dragon-friendly habitat within their offices.

They’ve seen its victims firsthand.

They’re constantly asking for advice on how to take care of it.

They clearly have a dragonborn sorcerer to use as a translator.

They’re using it as some sort of living lie-detector.

They’re always looking for ways to please it.

They may even worship it.

They’ve felt its wrath.

If he only knew...Keep it pushin'. He's not the one.

A post shared by Fireball Whisky (@fireballwhisky) on

They consider it a deal-breaker if you don’t believe in dragons...because dragons are real, and they have one.

This writer has been honored by him, personally.