If you’re too nervous to talk up the bartender of your dreams, hedge your bets by couching a pickup line in a drink order. These ultra-smooth lines seamlessly blend a request for a cocktail with a cute and clever come-on. (Editor’s note: Don’t actually use any of these unless your bartender is particularly impressed by puns and dumb, dumb, very dumb humor.)
I’d like sex on the beach...sorry, I meant a Sex on the Beach.
You’re perfect...Manhattan, please.
I like it dirty—oh, sorry, I forgot to say, “One Martini, please.”
I’d like a slow comfortable screw—and then I’ll take a vodka, sloe gin, SoCo and orange juice.
One Egg-snog, please—I mean Eggnog. (This line only works if you’re in the UK, where “snog” means “hookup,” and even then it won’t actually work.)
Honeymoon? Oh, no, not the drink. Just wondering where you’d like to go after our wedding.
Depth Charge—that’s what it feels like when I look at you. And can I get a shot and a beer?
Vodka-Soda with a splash of cran I take you out to dinner?
Rob Roy—that’s who people think I look like. He’s the Scottish folk hero? Liam Neeson played him in the 1995 movie? Ruggedly handsome? No? I’ll just take a Manhattan with scotch, in that case.
Woo Woo! I can’t whistle, so that’s the only way I can express how attractive you are. But also, one Woo Woo, please.
Dirty Martini with a side of I love you—I said olive juice.
I’m not drinking tonight, so I’ll just get a Jack and Coke, please...Jack. (This only works if the bartender’s name is Jack.)
Brandy, Alexander. (This only works if your name is Brandy and your bartender’s name is Alexander, or vice versa. If that’s the case, then you need to use this. Seriously. Then send us an invite to the wedding.)