The Spiked Starbucks Pokéball Frappuccino You Didn’t Ask For
Unless you’re living on a remote desert island using coconuts and string as your primary means of communication, you’re probably aware that Pokémon GO has taken over the world.
We’re almost a month into the app’s launch, and the craze shows no signs of slowing. Unsurprisingly, businesses are cashing in on the trend, including Starbucks. At locations around the world, the ‘Buck is advertising all the different ways you can turn your Frappuccino into a Pokémon-laced sugar high, from layered odes to Pokéballs to Pokémon-colored creations. And our first reaction whenever Starbucks does something new is to boozify it.
Here's how to order a Pokéball Frappuccino at your local Starbucks, then make it 1,000 times better by adding booze:
- Walk into your nearest Starbucks.
- Catch as many Pokémon as possible while waiting to order.
- Warn the barista that your drink order is a little complicated.
- Ask for a very complex Frappuccino which has vanilla Frappuccino on the bottom, a thin layer of chocolate sauce in the middle, with strawberry Frappuccino on top.
- Try not to laugh at the horrified look on the barista’s face.
- Repeat instructions as many times as needed for comprehension.
- Get the fattest straw you can find, ideally a bubble tea straw (if there’s a 7-Eleven nearby, Slurpee straws work great).
- Return home with your drink (#noopencontainer). Pour two shots of your favorite rum through the fat straw so it doesn’t ruin the aesthetics of the drink (aka all of that poor barista's hard work).
- Lift the straw up to let the rum flow into the drink.
- Return straw to drink.
- Schedule teeth cleaning.
There you have it, folks. Another day, another Starbucks drink improved with booze. Now go forth and
catch drink ‘em all.