There is no such thing as a free lunch, but there is such a thing as a free Slurpee. Today, as you are doubtlessy aware, is Free Slurpee Day, the most hallowed day of summer, wherein 7-Elevens across this great nation give away complimentary Slurpees to parched, overheated customers. But while many will get a free slushie today, a precious few will make the most of it, by turning their frozen sugar juice into something far greater than the sum of its parts.
Ladies and gentlemen, in honor of the Slurpee’s 50th birthday, Supercall presents the Long Island Iced Tea Slurpee. You’re welcome, America.
- Fill a small Slurpee cup to the rim with Coca-Cola flavored Slurpee. Do not fill the dome top — you need that room for booze.
- Take it home. Supercall always follows open-container ordinances.
- Add .5 oz gin, .5 oz rum, .5 oz blanco tequila, .5 oz vodka, .5 oz triple sec and the juice of half a lemon to your Slurpee.
- Stir and garnish. We considered Sour Patch Cherries, but ended up going with a Cool Ranch Dorito. (We were going to attempt to justify our choice with a high-minded explanation about how the chip’s buffet of umami flavors is the perfect foil to the drink’s sweetness, but the truth is we just love Cool Ranch Doritos.)
- Give yourself the ultimate brain freeze.
You can, of course, work with a larger Slurpee, but the small size is what you can get for free today. Also, as fans of moderation in all things, we do not advise drinking a Big Gulp-sized frozen Long Island Iced Tea.