The Facebook happy birthday post is a de facto Internet obligation akin to helping someone move or feigning interest in your friend’s improv show. It's a complete and utter obligation. However, actually replying to those birthday posts usually gets caught in a grey area typically solved by a blanket “thank you for all the birthday love” post at the end of the day.
After spending my 28th birthday watching the notifications of my Facebook pop up one after another, I knew that—I, too—would bear the duty of writing an all-encompassing thank you note for the friends, family members, and women I’ve seen naked who wished me happy birthday.
But 103 notifications later, inspiration hit and I decided to throw caution to the wind and thank every single person who wished me happy birthday on Facebook with a personalized reply. It took me hours to do it, but I learned some s**t.