After another dumpster fire of a year, you can bet that New Year’s Eve will be filled with as many drinks as it takes to drown out all memories of 2017. That’s all well and good while you’re watching the ball drop, kissing strangers at midnight and spraying bubbly on a crowd, but we guarantee you’re going to want to take back every booze-fueled decision come New Year’s Day. Here are the 10 stages of a New Year’s Day hangover that everyone will definitely experience.
1) Wake up with a pounding headache and regret all the free Champagne that led you to this point.
2) Slowly sit up while a bunch of confetti falls out of your hair.
3) Attempt to walk over to the bathroom, but take a few breaks along the way.
4) Sit on the floor of the shower and think about how you wasted all of 2017.
5) Feel blessed that you don’t have to go to work today.
6) Commit to Dry January, a diet and sign up for a gym membership.
7) Forget about that immediately and order the greasiest breakfast sandwich that Seamless will deliver.
8) Decide that the only way to beat the hangover is with a little hair of the dog.
9) Promise yourself you’re going to start that healthy lifestyle next week.
10) Because new year, new you! Right?