9 Outrageous Nic Cage Products You Can't Live Without

When it comes to Internet notoriety, Sir Nicolas Cage is right up there alongside Bill Murray, Jeff Goldblum, and Chuck Norris. All it took was nearly thirty years of supremely bizarre onscreen performances and—dare we say—an even stranger life off-camera to help him achieve this cult status.

The Internet quickly caught on to this man's incredible antics and has been churning out some fantastic Cage-based merch that rivals the man himself in weirdness. So make sure your face is securely attached to your head and that the aggressive bees are safely at bay, because sh*t is about to get real. 

Price: $19
When we asked the creator of this piece of art why such a product exists, he responded accordingly: "Nicolas Cage is the god that blesses our visualizing receptacles with the smile of a thousand suns. That's why!" Well done, sir. 

Price: $22
How often have you left Trader Joe's aching for a bag that speaks to your personal tastes? It's the best way to transport your groceries and show your love of Cage short of having the man himself cart your sh*t home. Your fruits and vegetables deserve nothing less than that beautiful face.

Price: $17
Dispose of every other mug in your kitchen, because there's nothing else but this. 

Price: $42
Finally, a piece of art that accurately represents the public's view of Nicolas Kim Coppola. A man with such integrity and intensity deserves nothing less than—WAIT A MINUTE, Nic Cage's middle name is Kim. 

Price: $34
Another Etsy gem! Honestly, how could you go back to slamming wine from a plain glass after drinking from the head of the man who starred in The Rock, Leaving Las Vegas, The Wicker Man, and National Treasure?! 

Price: $75
Okay, so maybe there's something a bit jarring about an Ariel/Cage mashup. However, when two cultural icons are Frankenstein'd together with the level of artistic integrity this cross stitch holds, you can't help but leave your inhibitions at the door. 

Price:$Varied
By taking a more abstract, almost Ralph Steadman approach to the Cage, artist Eleanor Beeden presents a piece of art as disjointed as the actor himself. These towels can be used for drinking tea or while eating a peach for hours. 
 

Price: $8
If your girlfriend thinks her neck deserves anyone else, you should break up now.

Price: $26
It's easily one of the worst things you can buy on Amazon, but still an absolutely necessity for showcasing your love of the dark lord/the man who starred opposite Cher in Moonstruck. Alrighty, that's enough Internet for today.

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and his favorite Cage movie is every single one of them—but also Moonstruck.