Lifestyle

The Patriots And Seahawks Are Worth More Than These 11 Countries

The big game is here. The 49th annual NFL Championship. It’s pretty much the Super Bowl of football. Two teams enter; one team leaves; the other team leaves a little later, feeling really bummed out because they just lost the f*cking Super Bowl.

But even the NFL losers are still winning at the bank. The league is dripping with dough. In fact, there are free-standing nations—with elected officials, deep cultural landscapes, and freaking self-contained economies—that are worth less than these gaggles of thyroid-cases in neon spandex. Seriously.

We calculated just how much the two teams appearing in this year’s Super Bowl are worth, and compared that with a list of 2014 Estimated GDP (Gross Domestic Product), to find a jock strap-full of nations that are technically valued less than the sum of our potential champions.

Behold: classic, beautiful, American excess. Now pass the wings, bro.

New England "Floppy Ball" Patriots Value (2014): $2.6 Billion 

Seattle "Skittle-Eating" Seahawks Value (2014): $1.33 Billion

 

TOTAL COMBINED VALUE = $3.93 Billion

Swaziland

Estimated GDP (2014): $3.8 Billion

Guyana

Estimated GDP (2014): $3.1 Billion

Burundi

Estimated GDP (2014): $3.0 Billion 

Maldives

Estimated GDP (2014): $2.4 Billion

Bhutan 

Estimated GDP (2014): $2.1 Billion

Belize 

Estimated GDP (2014): $1.7 Billion

Lesotho

Estimated GDP (2014): $1.3 Billion

St. Lucia

Estimated GDP (2014): $1.3 Billion

Samoa

Estimated GDP (2014): $800 Million

Grenada

Estimated GDP (2014): $800 Million

Tonga

Estimated GDP (2014): $500 Million 


Wil Fulton, like Marshawn Lynch, is only here so he doesn't get fined. Follow him if you want, @WilWithOnlyOneL.