7. Those three hair gel models who know it doesn't get better than Express.
Four sheer v-neck T-shirts for $59.99?! America truly is the land of opportunities.
8. The guy at the kiosk who’s so good at selling Israeli moisturizer that you start to question everything you know about your skin.
Why is it so easy for a grown man to fall victim to the charismatic ramblings of salesman with silky smooth hands?
9. The suspiciously perky Old Navy manager who has likely worked for the company since the 1960s.
Don’t confuse that stain on her blouse for tears—it’s clearly gin. Hobbies include: unsubscribing to emails, power ranking The Bachelor episodes, and white wine.