Have you ever wanted to "excape" this country and form a nation filled only with people who knew how to say library and nuclear correctly? A land where you don't find things addicting, because you know they are addictive? A society where the word "irregardless" isn't just frowned upon, it's strictly prohibited?
Print this guide out, Grammar Nazis, and give it to everyone you know. Soon, we'll be one step closer to that glorious utopia.
1. I'm feeling hunger pangs, which is causing me some hunger-related pain.
2. All these exposed butts are a problem. I need you to nip it in the bud.
3. Our goat escaped, and I'm using you as a scapegoat.
4. I have a deep-seated belief that all pigeons are evil.
5. For all intents and purposes, this article is the best thing you'll see on the Internet today.
6. If you're here for espresso, I can help you in the express line.
7. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, just ask Snoop Doggy Dogg.
8. He said "tongue and cheek," but it was just a tongue-in-cheek joke.
9. I made a 360 degree turn in my life, and ended up right back where I started; so I made a 180 degree turn instead.
10. I honestly couldn't care less about bird feeders.
11. That chest of drawers belongs to Chester, actually.
12. Let's get down to the brass tacks regarding this bizarre tax on brass.
13. The Statue of Liberty is beyond my statute of limitations.
14. I tried conversing with my neighbor, doctor, and wife, but no one wants to speak Latin with me!
15. Good lord, I would never take Hugh Grant for granted.
Wil Fulton is a staff writer for Supercompressor. He is not a grammar Nazi, but his copyeditor is. Follow him @WilFulton.