What to Drink According to Your Favorite Rick and Morty Character
Adult Swim recently announced that not only was Rick and Morty getting a fourth season, but it was getting a 70(!) more episodes. That is reason to yell “wubba lubba dub dub” and do the Rick Dance. While you wait for the new episodes, which will come out when Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland darn well get around to it, satiate your need for intergalactic adventures by binging your way through every past season—with a drink in hand of course. Here’s what to drink according to your favorite Rick and Morty character. Get to shaking. Get to stirring. And get schwifty.
Rick Sanchez: Rusty Nail
A cantankerous old drink for a cantankerous old man. While Rick’s drink of choice is usually a full bottle of full-strength alcohol, this cocktail mixes two spirits together (blended scotch and Drambuie) for a more sippable experience. It’s strong but slightly sweet, just like Rick is deep, deep, deep, way, way deep down. We think.
Morty Smith: Mudslide
Morty is a child. So, of course, he doesn’t drink. But once he does become a legal member of the bargoing society, he won’t be the type to order tequila straight or even a Martini. The most grown-up Morty will ever be able to handle is a spiked milkshake like a Mudslide.
Summer: Moscow Mule
She definitely has her break out adventures and she can take down an alien or two when called upon, but Summer is, at her core, basic. She wears her hair in a ponytail. She is always on her phone. She mostly thinks about boys. And, right now, the most basic drink your can order is a Moscow Mule.
Jerry Smith: Highball
Jerry is boring. He is a bland man with bland ambitions. That said, he has his moments. If you love Jerry, then you should be drinking a standard, straightforward Highball made with a spirit and soda water and nothing else.
Beth Smith: Sangria
Like father, like daughter. While Rick chugs down the hard stuff, Beth turns to vino, choosing to pour glass after glass of red wine. Upgrade her drink of choice by adding some brandy and fruit chunks for a delicious pitcher of Sangria.
Jessica: Passion Fruit Mojito
The object of Morty’s obsession, Jessica is everything he could possibly want in a woman: She’s older, she’s beautiful, she’s popular, she’s sweet. If you, like Morty, can’t get enough of Jessica opt for a Passion Fruit Mojito, a lust-worthy cocktail to be sure.
Principal Gene Vagina: Pornstar Martini
Don’t let the name fool you, he’s “very much in charge.” Similarly, the Pornstar Martini also has a misleading name. It sounds trashy and tawdry, but it’s actually a beautifully balanced cocktail made with vodka, passion fruit nectar, Champagne and homemade vanilla syrup.
Mr. Goldenfold: 50/50 Martini
Morty’s math teacher is entertaining, but there’s not much depth of character to lock onto (aside from his love of TV’s Mrs. Pancakes). He does teach math though, if badly. This ratio-based recipe is easy enough for even him to remember.
Mr. Meeseeks: Long Island Iced Tea
With its speed rail’s worth of alcohol, the Long Island Iced Tea seems a bit like something Mr. Meeseeks would create in a state of panic when faced with an indecisive drinker. But it would work, and Mr. Meeseeks could die, happily.
In bird culture, this is considered an obvious choice. But the Aviation is a delicious drink and somewhat underrated, much like Birdperson who is noble and truthful to a fault.
Revolio “Gearhead” Clockberg, Jr.: Six Cylinder
If you love Revolio, then you know not to ever call him a slur like “gearhead.” You also know that if you get him started, he will take up your entire night recounting an oral history of the Gear Wars. Anyone who sits down with him could use a strong drink, like the Six Cylinder, which is made with six different spirits.
Squanchy: Dirty Martini
This strung-out, cat-like creature uses the word “squanch” to mean everything, like a less polite Smurf. He likes his drinks strong and, from the look of him, he hasn’t given himself a bath in years. Dirty Martini it is. Squanchin’ cocktail, bro!
Mr. Poopybutthole: Margarita
Kind, loving and, as Beth finds out the hard way, definitely not an alien parasite, Mr. Poopybutthole is the sweetest, sausage-looking creature to ever grace the Sanchez home. He is everyone’s favorite, much like the Margarita continues to be everyone’s favorite cocktail.
Noob-Noob: Mind Eraser
Possibly descended from the same species as Mr. Poopybutthole, Noob-Noob is the forgotten member of the Vindicators. Perennially left behind to clean up the headquarters, Noob-Noob only gets a brief moment of recognition from a very inebriated Rick—who then promptly wakes up and forgets everything about him. In honor of him, down a Mind Eraser.
Sleepy Gary: Espresso Martini
Sleepy Gary may have been a parasite, but that doesn’t make what he and Jerry had any less special. Wake up and remember the good times with an Espresso Martini.