The Guardian reports that Vladimir Putin himself took some time away from topless horseback riding and bear wrangling to be at the park for its opening. He used the event to announce the addition of 40 new intercontinental missiles to Russia's nuclear arsenal and stated that the park will be "an important element in our system of military-patriotic work with young people." Nothing screams family fun like the capacity for nuclear annihilation and military propaganda. Next time you're at a theme park here at home and sick of waiting in lines with all the annoying kids, be glad you're not in Russia, where they'd be running around with rocket launchers.
Brett Williams is an editorial assistant at Supercompressor. He's pretty sure that in Russia, the rollercoaster rides you.
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