Food & Drink

What Your Secret Santa Gift Says About You

Mark Yocca/Supercall

The fun of Secret Santa is getting a surprise gift—and then spending the rest of the night trying to figure out what Craig in accounting was thinking when he picked it out for you. Since you’re on this website, it’s safe to assume you like to drink and that everyone around you already knows that. So you’ll definitely be getting something cocktail adjacent. But what else does your Secret Santa’s gift say about you? Find out:

A basic bottle of vodka

You keep your cards close to your chest. You don’t talk much about your personal interests, likes or dislikes—so they had absolutely no idea what to get you and picked the most neutral bottle they could find.

A decent bottle of bourbon

You’re generally well liked and deemed cool enough to appreciate a nice bottle of sweet and spicy bourbon. If it’s from a lesser-known distillery, perhaps they’re trying to bond with you and hope that you ask them all about their own whiskey knowledge and become #BourbonBuds.

A cheap, but very large, bottle of tequila

You’re the life of the office, and people are still talking about the antics you pulled at last year’s Christmas party. They’re gifting you this bottle of tequila in hopes that you’ll break it out for a round of shots, and relive that wild night.  

A bottle of amaro

You have esoteric—some would say hipstery—tastes, and nothing ever seems to please you (because the wine is never as good as the one you had in Barcelona). With a bottle of obscure amaro, your Secret Santa is trying their hardest to surprise you with something that isn’t basic.

A fancy bottle of scotch that’s way over the spending limit

You’re either the boss or you’re the leader of the group, and they’re trying really hard to impress you, making it awkward for everybody. It’s Michael Scott gifting Ryan an iPod on The Office all over again.

$10 bottle of wine

With that vaguely French looking label (even though it was actually produced in New Jersey), they thought you wouldn’t be able to tell that they didn’t even come close to the $20 limit, but you know better … and you’ll always remember this.

A collection of nips or a six-pack of beer

They definitely know that you will be able to tell they didn’t spend $20, and, honestly, they don’t know or like you enough to care.

Bloody Mary mix

You’ve called out of work hungover way too many times and wear your sunglasses indoors far too often.

A drinking game

If they’ve bought you a mini beer pong set, tipsy tic-tac-toe or shot roulette, you talk about how college was the best time of your life way too much.

A set of cocktail tools

You’re either a person who is always picking up new skills—like that time you took up knitting and made everyone a scarf—or you’re someone that your Secret Santa thinks desperately needs a new hobby. If it’s the latter, maybe stop spending so much time posting political rants on Facebook, and take your frustration out muddling a Mojito instead.