25 Highly Offensive Retro Ads Don Draper Probably Wrote

Ah, the 20th Century. A time when cell phones were called car phones, no one had to take their shoes off to get into an airplane, and Tinder was simply what you used to ignite a campfire. It was the "Mad Men" era of advertising, when casual sexism/racism ran rampant, and the target demo for all purchases were red-blooded, uber-privileged Caucasian males. 

Despite the unsavory, and possible NSFW, nature of these advertisements, it's impossible for us to fully move forward without looking back—plus, some of these are downright hilarious in their blatant disregard for political correctness. So enjoy! And please, don't shoot the messenger.

If cigarette packets really had legs, it would be a lot harder to quit smoking. Because your addiction could literally chase you down and kick you in the nuts.

I can't imagine that this was ever true. 

My girlfriend would literally punch me in the face for even accidentally looking at this. 

In case you've forgotten, this is what pep pills do to people


...I'm pretty sure she won't.

The most disturbing part of this ad is this guy wearing a shirt and tie to bed—who does that?

I've read this ad three times, and I still have no idea what they are talking about.

Still not as offensive as that NFL team in Washington, DC.

Too bad my grandma was the original 1940 beauty, stupid. 

Between this and Bill Cosby, Jell-O does not have a great advertising track record. 

Instead of discipling your child, just light up a ciggy. Problem solved, duh.

See? Even the Germans have made some mistakes throughout history. Oh wait...

50 shades of horribly offensive.

Probably the reason no one's ever heard of "Schlitz beer"—though I'd love to see their Superbowl commercial. 

I ask, "Is she pretty clever?"

Wives are also for leaving you after telling them something like this. 

Welp. They just came and said it, didn't they?

Pre-teeth is probably too soon, mom...

To be fair, I'd also rather wear a bone in my hair than any of these stupid shirts. 

It's probably true, because the only doctor who smokes is this dude, anyway. 

Why did they even make this connection?

Not sound advice, in general. 

Straight to jail! Do not pass GO! Do not collect $200!

H/T Reddit