7 Signs You’re a True Vodka Drinker
It takes a loyal soul to stand by vodka. The spirit has gotten more bad press in the last 30 years than any other bottle on the back bar. From clunky, unbalanced vodka ‘tinis, to all manner of abominable flavored vodkas, to cheap swill that has nowhere to hide its harsh, acetone notes, vodka as a category has had plenty of hurdles to overcome.
But a true vodka lover doesn’t care about any of that. A true vodka connoisseur orders their vodka cocktails with pride, sips their favorite brands neat and incorporates vodka into every aspect of a meal or drinking outing. Here, seven signs you’re a true vodka drinker.
You Drink Vodka Straight and Slowly
Put the shot glass away; you’ll take your vodka in a lowball. Other drinkers take their vodka down as quickly as possible, wanting only the alcohol and none of the taste. But you prefer to sip it slowly, truly savoring the texture and flavor. Which brings us to …
You Actually Know What Vodka Tastes Like
“Vodka has flavor!” you shout to the deafening roar of naysayers. Vodka haters can drone on with snarky opinions and “legal definitions of vodka” all they want, but you know that vodka is anything but neutral. Every vodka has a unique flavor profile, from cereal nuttiness to baking spice to creamy vanilla to tart citrus.
You Order a Vodka Soda … But Not Because It’s Low-Cal
Clean, bright and fizzy, the Vodka Soda is a great way to highlight a quality vodka bottling. But when you roll up to the bar and call your favorite brand for a Vodka Soda, you catch the bartender rolling their eyes hard. This is your burden as a true vodka lover. You will forever appear basic.
You Prefer Your Martini with Vodka
The botanical flavors of gin just get in the way of enjoying a pristine Martini made properly with vodka. The Vodka Martini, on the other hand, is a study in subtlety. Your chosen vermouth can really shine, while proper texture is paramount. Depending on your mood, you’ll take your Martini dry, wet or dirty, but you’ll skip the forest of gin infusions mucking up your cocktail.
You Like Different Brands in Different Cocktails
Certain cocktails call for specific bottles, like the Moscow Mule made with Smirnoff or the Cosmo with Absolut Citron, but you have exacting preferences for the base in all of your favorite vodka drinks. Maybe you like your Vodka Martini dry and grassy made with Zirkova, or maybe you feel that a wheat-based vodka like Grey Goose or a potato vodka like Chopin, goes well in sweeter drinks like a White Russian.
You Appreciate a Quality Flavored Vodka
Even the most loyal of vodka advocates won’t try to pass birthday cake-flavored vodka off as a quality craft spirit, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t superior flavored vodkas out there. From cake vodka’s more mature counterpart Aermoor, to the clean, vegetal flavor of Crop’s organic cucumber vodka, to the savory, Bloody Mary-ready Heritage D’s Seasoned Vodka, you recognize that reason and good taste have finally won out over saccharine party vodka flavors.
You Even Eat Your Vodka
Your ice cream gets a healthy dose of the neutral stuff, your pickles get soaked in vodka, your cupcakes might as well come out of a bottle, your favorite candy gets the vodka cocktail treatment and, of course, your pasta comes a la vodka.