1. Bear Grylls copied Costner
In one of the opening scenes, Kevin Costner pees into a cup, pours it into a purifier, and drinks it right back down—beating Grylls out by 20 years. Sorry, Bear, people have been chugging piss since the 90s.
2. Waterworld is just Days of Thunder with boats
But, to be fair, Days of Thunder was just Top Gun with cars.
3. Kevin Costner plays a mermaid
Costner plays a drifter only known as "The Mariner" who's grown gills and webbed toes from some type of genetic mutation. He’s half-man, half-fish, so he’s technically a mermaid. Or, more accurately, a merman. MERMAN!
4. Waterworld bends the perception of space and time 23 minutes into the movie, I feel like I've been on the high seas for months and months with no landmarks or features in sight. You just drift until you're no longer sure which thing is the ocean and which is the sky. Waterworld is the only movie that can make 23 minutes feel like an eternity. If you're on your deathbed wishing for more life, stick this into the VCR and you'll feel immortal!
5. Kevin Costner's hair is magnificent
As a man with severe hair anxiety, seeing Costner pull off a ponytail with a crop full of wispy-thin hair shows me that no one gives a f*ck what you do with your hairline, as long as you do it with the unreasonable confidence of a Spanish matador.
6. Waterworld has one degree of separation from Napoleon Dynamite
Here’s something great: Deb from Napoleon Dynamite is in this movie as—get this—some kind of omnipotent mystery child named Enola. She has a a tattoo on her back that's supposedly a map to dry land and draws all over Kevin Costner's boat with crayons. You never really find out her origin story, though, so I guess she's just a stupid orphan.