You don’t have the pipes for it (no matter what your mom told you when you were a kid singing along in the car). We’d love if you were the next Whitney Houston, but chances are, you’re not.
It’s weird how your way is exactly the same as the last 12 people who sang this song tonight.
We saw Wayne’s World, too. Our favorite part is when the guitar store clerk yells at Mike Myers to stop playing Stairway before he even starts. That movie has a lot of good lessons.
The quartet of Boyz II Men are great backup in the bedroom, but leave the seduction behind closed doors. Best case scenario: You woo everyone in the room and a brawl breaks out over your affection. Worst case scenario: You end up more embarrassed than if someone pantsed you and everyone saw the silk boxer shorts you are definitely wearing.
“Never made it as a wise man.” Clearly. “Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing.” Too true. And let’s just add in, “Can’t take a hint,” to the mix. If nothing else, you reminded your friends why they can’t take you places.
What if we agreed to never sing this one again? We’re pretty sure you’ll be judged at the pearly gates for subjecting karaoke bar goers to this monotonous, lyrical series of god awful questions.
Sure, everyone gets a few sympathetic snickers during the spoken intro, but by the time the chorus hits, your audience may already be over this four-minute ode to butts.