Hush, Cancer is trying to meditate away their whiskey-induced headache. If you hear Enya and smell incense from the next room, you can be sure Cancer is in there, trying to soothe their psyche and calm their jittery, post-night-out nerves. Namaste, Cancer. We hope that yerba mate and nature sounds playlist fix you up, so you’re ready for another rave tonight.
Even hungover, Leo’s are searching for that spotlight. So they’ll try whatever weird, folk cure you throw at them. They’ll down a Prairie Oyster (raw egg yolk and all) without blinking an eye—as long as every other eye in the room is on them. Yes, we see you, Leo. Very gross. Good job.
If you can’t see Virgo at first, just look closer at the couch. There they are, totally engulfed in a sea of pillows and blankets watching whatever bad ‘90s movie is on TV. Dante’s Peak, again? Wasn’t that just on last Sunday? And, come to think of it, eight Sundays before that? No matter, Virgo is cozy and pretty near comatose. They’ll be back to their normal, healthy, proactive selves soon. But first, Deep Impact.