How Every Zodiac Sign Deals With a Hangover
Every sign handles a hangover differently—and each swears that their coping method is the best. To each their own, we say. We’ll stick with our long, long, way too long showers, but that’s because we’re Pisces. Your star sign might have you leaning a different way. Here, how every zodiac sign cures a hangover.
Energetic Aires springs out of bed every day, no matter how many tequila shots they downed the night before. To shake the salt and lime out of their system, they’ll hit the gym, the hot yoga studio or just the mat on the floor to sweat themselves sober. Beware, they’ll definitely try to drag you along on a run. Best to turn your phone off until you’re ready to face the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, “I just ran a 5K!” Aires.
The constant providers of the group, those born under Taurus turn to food for comfort, especially after a particularly raucous dinner party—how many bottles of wine did you single-handedly take down, Taurus? They’ll send out for sackfuls of greasy breakfast sandwiches for everyone—extra crispy bacon included.
Always up for an adventure, Gemini will try whatever new miracle cure is on the market. A fizzing tablet dropped into a glass of water? Done! A sunlamp directed onto the back of their knees? Point them to it! A powdered root from a remote South Pacific island? They’ll stir it into their morning tea with glee.
Hush, Cancer is trying to meditate away their whiskey-induced headache. If you hear Enya and smell incense from the next room, you can be sure Cancer is in there, trying to soothe their psyche and calm their jittery, post-night-out nerves. Namaste, Cancer. We hope that yerba mate and nature sounds playlist fix you up, so you’re ready for another rave tonight.
Even hungover, Leo’s are searching for that spotlight. So they’ll try whatever weird, folk cure you throw at them. They’ll down a Prairie Oyster (raw egg yolk and all) without blinking an eye—as long as every other eye in the room is on them. Yes, we see you, Leo. Very gross. Good job.
If you can’t see Virgo at first, just look closer at the couch. There they are, totally engulfed in a sea of pillows and blankets watching whatever bad ‘90s movie is on TV. Dante’s Peak, again? Wasn’t that just on last Sunday? And, come to think of it, eight Sundays before that? No matter, Virgo is cozy and pretty near comatose. They’ll be back to their normal, healthy, proactive selves soon. But first, Deep Impact.
Libra knows that the only surefire way to level out after a hard night is with more booze. Bottomless brunch is the name of the game, with Bloody Marys by the bucketful and Mimosas as backup. Ever graceful and stylish, though, Libra will never overdo it and will always pick the chicest of spots.
No one likes to be hungover, but Scorpios take it as a personal affront. The ultra-productive and focused sign does not appreciate the many ways in which a hangover can put them off schedule. So they fight back with gallons of electrolyte-packed sports drinks, which efficiently replenish their stores of energy. They usually won’t even need to leave the house to get their orange Gatorade fix, as the always-on-top-of-it Scorpio probably planned ahead and pre-stocked the fridge.
Adventurous, outdoorsy and happy to make do with whatever’s around, Sagittarius needs just one thing to cure their hangover: coffee, all of the coffee. The on-the-go Sag can be found with a giant (like, way too big) coffee mug in their hand all Sunday long. They believe it will work, and so it will, such is the power of a Sagittarius’ optimism and faith in java.
Capricorns are more concerned with the big picture than the day-to-day, so they have no problem sleeping late into the afternoon if that’s what their hangover tells them to do. Once they do finally emerge from their cocoon or, more appropriately, cozy pile of hay (Capricorns are goats, after all), they’ll be ready to tackle anything.
The scientists of the stars, Aquarius have a precise formula for ridding themselves of a hangover. A few B12 and D vitamins, a green juice with an entire juice bar’s worth of supplements and some lean protein, and they’ll be back in the lab in no time.
Unsurprisingly this aquatic sign finds solace in water—streams and streams of hot water. Don’t talk to them. Don’t try to rush them. Just let them sit in the tub as the water rains down on them from above. That shower won’t stop until Pisces has completely scrubbed the hangover off their body—and they’ve finished their shower beer.