Rock history is filled with epic guitars, from Eddie Van Halen's "Frankenstein", to Nigel Tufnel's Marshall stack with a neck, to the Dean Explorer ZZ Top had covered in fur, leading Billy Gibbons to constantly complain "PETA's got me Under Pressure". Now all of them can bow down to your own custom axe, from Ben Simon Music. Just now accepting commissions, Simon is a BK-based former touring musician who moved to the Carolinas in '05 to learn woodworking, then went mad scientist and started concocting abstract rigs that're part instrument, part art, and 100% awesome. The journey to ownership starts with a free consult (phone/email/in person) where you'll discuss your wildest musical instrument dreams, sussing out materials (from local Douglas fir to Brazilian purpleheart), hardware ($2 or $200 pickups?), and outlandish shapes, which in the past have included a rain cloud w/ a lightning bolt neck, and a giant brontosaurus -- unfortunately devoured by the members of T. Rex. The crazy gets crazier with bonus electronic components, from built-in speakers, to circuit boards ripped out of vintage drum machines/synths, which can be hooked up directly to buttons on your unholy creation, or tweaked to create random new sounds via a process known as "circuit bending", a term you always assumed referred to that time 9th circuit judge Andrew J. Kleinfeld totally dressed like Rosemary S. Pooler of the 2nd circuit! Currently Simon is considering taking classes in metal working and other skill sets that could be applied to future music whips, though if he doesn't figure out a-how-how-how-how to make a guitar out of actual Legs, Billy Gibbons won't pay him with a Pocket Full of Change. Or Cheap Sunglasses. La Grange.