Chocri

They've been cramming every conceivable variation of nougat, caramel, and nuts into candy bars for decades, but are we not living in Nazi Germany if you can't have gummy bears in yours too? Enjoy a mouthful of liberty, thanks to Chocri

Ironically launched by two German dudes who used to make those crazy chocolate fountains, Chocri's got a fat-kid-friendly M.O.: letting you concoct your very own candy bar by mating ingredients from its stock of eclectic flavors/toppings with your choice of base chocolate, though for complicated legal reasons, one of those options isn't "Rain". It's simple: pick a Belgian milk, dark, or white base, then mix in up to seven different ingredients from their selection of 80+ (there're 10 billion potential combos), from standards like nuts (hazelnuts, wasabi peanuts, etc) and other candy (those gummy bears you crave, nougat pieces, mint cookies), to more unorthodox options like fruit (mango, goji berries), "grains" (sesame & flax seeds, pretzels?), and spices like chives, fennel, and basil; if you insist on serious pizazz, they've got a handful of toppings like sprinkles and real gold flakes, as using pyrite is just plain classless. Once you've settled on how to get chunky and covered in zits, you'll be asked to give your creation a name that'll be printed on the wrapper, and if you order 100+ you can even get any text/custom design printed in sugar on the bar itself -- so you probably don't want to distribute them as monogrammed keepsakes for new members of the Pen15 club.

If you loathe creativity, there're pairing suggestions, plus more than a dozen bars for sale, including the Magical Forest, the Happy Healthy, and the White With Berries, which would be totally perfect, if not for all those damn berries.