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Listen to a story about a hat named Jed

Kids are always decorating their clothes, whether it's drawing on Vans, or, in the 80s, sticking Gummy Bears on their shirts, to complement the blood spilled from getting punched by kids who draw on Vans. For a guy whose tinkering's taken on a hellacious bent, check out custom hats from HellBilly Delux.Turning straw cowboy hats into intricately evil aftermarket masterpieces, Hell's headed up by "HillBilly" Joe, a 6'9", Deep Ellum-dwelling occasional bodyguard whose main gig was creating high-tone home wall treatments; born in Roaring Springs, he learned to paint from his commercial-artist father, and after brilliantly defacing his first lid for himself, was soon fielding requests from the likes of Motorhead's Lemmy, Zakk Wylde, and David Allan Coe (who, thanks to his hat, will no longer be confused for Merle Haggard). The process: by phone or in person, Joe'll ask about colors/theme ideas/etc, then sketch prelims for your approval; after a deposit, he/you will measure your head for a Stetson (the only brand he'll use, as it's Garland-based), then realize the vision with acrylic paint/putty/metal/whatever it takes, except airbrushing, which, being more Swank than Playboy, he considers cheating. Finished designs have ranged from an angel-winged heart, to painted-on snakeskin with a real center-mounted rattlesnake head, to a sterling silver Superman shield whose green backing glows like kryptonite under a black light -- though sons of this Earth also get weak-kneed after discovering they've been standing in dog pee and bust.A note of caution: some of these hats have proven too fetching, case in point being Lamb of God's lead singer's, on which some fans have placed a $5K bounty -- an offer that hopefully won't lead to him getting bloodied up and shoved in back of a van.