Though awesome, an actual one-man-show is hard to find, since most shows average between two and Two and a Half Men, and six to six and a half hookers, depending on what kind of traffic Charlie Sheen's stuck in. Making custom jeans all by his lonesome, ROY Denim. Based in an Oakland warehouse studio, ROY Denim's a one-man operation run by a metal fabricator named Albert (JK, it's Roy), who's applied his obsessive attention to detail and process into crafting stylish, ultra-comfortable jeans, made-to-order to your exact specifications using heritage machinery that guarantees tip-top construction, like the Bay Bridge, if it were replaced by something with tip-top construction. He only rocks one silhouette: a classic-fit, narrow-legged number made from 14oz American shrink-to-fit cone denim (chosen for both looks and comfort), with five basic pockets, subtle gold stitching, and solid copper washers n' "burr" rivets, which have nothing to do with ice, so Gucci Mane need not apply. To cop a pair, follow Roy's ridiculously clear self-sizing guide, which'll show you how to correctly measure your waist (using a tailor's measuring tape, your body, and an old pair of jeans you love), and inseam (using a yardstick and the same jeans); he'll also school you on exactly what kind of post-wear stretch and post-wash shrinkage to expect in each area, because there's nothing more embarrassing than ankle shrinkage. Roy also can personalize your jeans for a small fee using a turn-of-the-century chainstitching machine. And in the not-so-distant future, expect more denim goods like shirts, jackets, and chick jeans, which Roy claims to be "a little nervous" about, like Chuck Sheen when he finds out the girl he's having sex with isn't a hooker -- it's one and a half men!