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Grown-up classes on Divis

As a youth, there were always a few factors that sweetened the prospect of going back to school, like the scintillating possibility that girls'll return with boobs, or the more scintillating possibility that you'll return without them. Renewing that enthusiasm among adults, The Workshop

From the peeps behind Indie Mart, The Workshop's an 800 square foot classroom for grown-ups, hosting DIY lessons on everything from mixology to arts and crafts (that patently do not suck) taught with madcap flare by super talented/weird San Franciscans, that're kicking off as you read this, assuming you know how. Perhaps the awesomest classes are centered around booze: coming up in a hurry's a Bloody Mary workshop, where you'll learn the ins-and-outs of four distinct styles (basic, spicy a la Zeitgeist, Latin with tequila, Asian with wasabi...all of which you'll drink), plus a DIY Hooch seminar where you'll learn to make a fizzy wine cooler-ish concoction using only fruit juice, beer yeast, and a condom, which is a latex prophylactic device, FYI. On the crafty side of things, look out for silk-screening classes taught by local pros like San Franpsycho, and "Rock n' Roll Sewing For Dudes", where you'll learn how to hem your own pants, make a beer koozie out of an old flannel, and create a pillowcase with a built-in, secret pocket for condoms -- which are, come on, now...you know this one..

In November, The Workshop'll delve into athletics, with classes in both "Heavy Metal Aerobics" and "Yacht Rock Yoga", because a little Michael McDonald sweetens the prospect of doing pretty much everything.