After debasing 16 North American cities in '09, Austin comic Chris Trew's faux-nication competition holds its first-ever Dallas event, the winner of which earns a spot in the A-town Worlds this fall. Contestants may choose their soundtrack and incorporate all manner of assistants/props (Drill press? Power grinder? Giant tomato? All done...), the only rules being no nudity and that "all sexual climaxes must be simulated" -- so basically, the women have this one all sewn up.