The State Fair of Texas is America's best for many reasons, but the only one that matters is that they deep fry everything. Today through October 17th, these top-notch area restaurants celebrate that brazenness by offering their own off-the-menu dunk jobs, which you should ask for by name. Batter up:
Green Spot Cafe: Beer-Battered Fried Smoked Brisket Taco
Coated in Rahr Blond Lager batter then cooked in rice bran oil, this Lakewood locavore gut-bomb is stuffed with all-natural bbq beef & fixins including cilantro, salsa verde, and cherry tomatoes. Inspiringly, the oil will later be used as biofuel, so at least someone will have cleaner-burning gas.
Rathbun's Blue Plate Kitchen: Fried S'mores
Kent Rathbun's pastry chefs slid graham cracker-battered chocolate on a stick to serve w/ flame-seared marshmallow fluff & raspberry puree; they're serving this Scout's delight at Blue Plate because counting the calories at Abacus would take weeks.
Nova: Kuby's Corny Brat
The chef at the stylish Oak Cliff diner raided Snider Plaza's legendary German market for the perfect big ol' sausage to impale, coat with sweet corn meal batter, and serve with three gourmet dipping sauces -- a meal that'll force average-sized corndogs to go buy corn-vettes to compensate.
Cowtown Diner: Deep Fried Burger Balls
Never ones to fear excessive meat consumption, the downtown Fort Worth staple's stuffing dijon-garlic ground sirloin with bacon and jalapeno pimiento cheese, rolling it up in a ball, slapping it on a slider bun, enveloping it in beer-spiked corn meal batter, and serving it with chipotle ranch dip -- and you thought "Da Dip" couldn't get any spicier.
Mi Piaci: Fried Bubbly Lobster
The esteemed Italian job's bathing bite-sized chunks of the sea's sweetest meat in Prosecco and herb-flecked egg batter before deep-dipping until golden; accompanied by champagne butter sauce, Mi's morsels are presented in a martini glass, though the days of your long skinny stems will be long over.
Dish: Deep Fried French Toast
Oak Lawn's comfort cuisinery's injecting mascarpone into a loaf of French bread, then coating it with a sugary batter; after the deep dunk, it'll be topped w/ pecan brittle, bananas, strawberries, and mint just before a server slices it open at your table -- probably not the last time someone will stand over your table with a knife.
Urban Crust: Fried Gorgonzola-Stuffed Meatballs
Downtown Plano's chef-driven pizza/pasta cave's cheese-ing up a Sicilian standby by packing spiced beef & veal around a glob of Gorg, then frying it in breadcrumb & herb batter, though herbs are always getting battered, 'cause you know, they're herbs.
Twisted Root Deep Ellum/Cowboy Chow: Fried Pop-Tart/Fried Rice Krispies-Crusted Ice Cream
Starting Monday, Jason Boso & Co's dual Deep Ellum eateries are serving up dueling desserts in Fair Park's greasy shadow: Root's beer-battered breakfast snack will be available in choc or strawberry, while Chow's fudge-drizzled vanilla ice cream scoop's studded with both classic & cocoa rice puffs -- but not Koko rice puffs, because she only eats bananas, silly. What part of the hand signal for "banana" don't you understand?