Dallas's first voddy

Our local water supply has long had a filthy reputation, prompting decades of Dallasites to crack hilarious jokes like "I'd have to be drunk to drink that water!" Now, you can get drunk by drinking that water, with DeLos Vodka

The first vodka ever distilled in the D, DeLos is a family-run venture from a Raytheon-employed Argyle resident who'd garage-moonshined for years until some post-motorcycle accident downtime led him towards more serious aspirations; now armed with facilities in Dallas and Lewisville, he's just released an 80-proof, wheat-&-rye distillation that proudly forgoes importing water from exotic locales/glaciers in favor of good old H2Metroplex. The process, which would make more sense if you hadn't spent chemistry class daringly sweeping your hand through Bunsen flames: the water's filtered through pharmaceutical-grade reverse osmosis to absolute purity, after which minerals, sugar & such are added as it ferments; then it's diluted and mildly warmed in an electric still, during which a vacuum process helps churn the mash and suck the good stuff onward to a collection tank -- a pricey technique used to date only in Russia and Iceland, where the usual heat-based process could melt the whole place. The flavor profile's clean, with little burn, and a subtly crisp aroma added for character; design & packaging is entirely North Texas-sourced, with labels & caps from Plano, product design from Euless, and bottles from Roanoke, whose residents often get lost on the way to The Colony

Despite being handcrafted, DeLos is priced mid-pack: the half-gallon's under $30, a tube-encased 750ml is about $19, and twin 50ml shots're $2 -- but running around with these will earn you the reputation of being a filthy drunk, and a homeless one at that.