No matter how depressed you get over your team's NCAA demise, you can take solace that at least things weren't decided by a screw-up fans will recall 'til the day Slamball replaces hoops as a major sport. Now, Draft Media Sports Lounge is offering that solace in liquid form, with Consolation Specials
For the duration of the Tourney, Draft's serving up five thematically appropriate boozes for all tastes, at discounts that'll be available only to fans whose schools just got axed, and who can prove their devotion via t-shirt, old school ID, shameful ankle tattoo, etc. The deliciously ignominious lineup:
The Ansu Sesay Margarita: (Patron, Triple Sec, lime marg mix, splash of Grand Marnier) The Triple Sec recalls the 23ft three that lifted Bryce Drew's Valpo squad over Sesay's heavily favored Ole Miss in 1998's 1st round -- an epic buzzer-beater that immediately followed Sesay bricking two potentially icing free-throws, and immediately preceded the Mavs bricking by drafting...Ansu Sesay
The Pitino: (Kentucky-distilled Knob Creek, Maker's, or Beam, straight, rocks, or mixed) Pitino's failure to have someone guard Grant Hill's hail-mary inbounds led to the most crushing defeat in Kentucky's history and -- because it ultimately propelled Christian Laettner onto the Dream Team -- in America's history.
The Fred Brown: (A bottle of Newcastle Brown) Drink the fortuitously named English ale in honor of the Georgetown guard whose stupefying pass to James Worthy handed UNC the '82 Championship. (Bonus symbolism: G'town's mascot is a bulldog; in Britain, Newcastle's called "Dog", as in the charming lie "I'm going to walk the Dog".)
The Webber Iced Tea: (Crown Royal, Smirnoff, Bacardi Silver, Triple Sec) To his defense, most people had no idea calling a timeout when you had none was a technical. The Crown's a nod to C-Webb's Kings days, when he also came achingly close to winning it all, before getting extremely Tyra'd
The "BrendanHaywood VascoEvtimov ScottWilliams EdCota MichaelBrooker AdemolaOkulaja TerrenceNewby RonaldCurry MaxOwens JasonCapel OrlandoMelendez BradFrederick KrisLang BrianBersticker" Mojito: (Blue Curacao, Bacardi Silver, fresh mint, raw sugar, lime juice, lemon/lime soda) An appropriately blue cocktail repping every player from the 98-99 Tarheel team that lost to lowly Weber State. By all rights, "Bill Guthridge" should be in there, but that would make the name too long
The deal's good for the remainder of the day of your team's dismissal, so you'll be guaranteed some relief no matter how low your mood, or, worse, no matter how Le-high.