A wise man probably once said, "You never outgrow your oral fixation, you just get bored with the taste of your fingers. And smoking kills you, so don't do that". Providing delicious variety for your arrested development, Cold Ones Artisan Paletas
Cold's a roving bike cart vending all manner of wildly flavored, all-natural, Mexican-style popsicles, run by an epicurean ad man and his Stephen Pyles-trained partner, and recently test-driven at Austin City Limits, where the things sold out faster than Eagles tickets, and didn't make everybody throw up. Ingredients are soaked for hours in water and/or cream, then frozen in silicone molds, with ACL-proven styles including chocolate-ancho-cinnamon, corn-blackberry-honey ("like eating a sweet corn muffin"), orange-vanilla bean, salted butter caramel, and tuna-cardamom, "tuna" being another term for Mexican prickly pear, because fish popsicles would be disgusting -- or would they? Just-perfected combos include pear-tamarind and apple-ginger, with dozens more planned for springtime, also when Cold hopes to serve booze infusions like margarita, Mojito, and gin-and-tonic, a.k.a. the standby returned to after realizing becoming a "Mojito-popsicle guy" hasn't made you more interesting.
In a few months, Cold will start prowling Oak Cliff, West Village, down-/Uptown, and the Katy Trail. For now, just follow their Twitter, on which they'll announce resto partnerships and event appearances including tag-teaming with Rusty Taco's SMU Blvd mobile unit during the upcoming game against Marshall -- a 1-6 team obviously still stuck in the oral stage, as they totally suck.