Food & Drink

HB ButcherShop

Joining a steak-delivery club's a hassle: after a year of either cooking or feeling guilty over wasting your subscription, you're willing to drop real beef and become an aroni-tarian. Order as much or as little high-quality protein as you want, via's is the new consumer arm of the Hoffbrau founder's vaunted butchering operation, which until now sold only to other restos and grocers; unlike with most such services, cuts are available in any combo or quantity possible, even if you just want one slab to take down during a night of Digitally Remastered BonanzaBlossom. All meats are cut, wet-aged up to a month, trimmed, and packed at the home facility; choices include nine Prime/Choice cuts (10-14oz center-cut NY strip; 7-9oz bacon-wrapped beef tenderloin; 6-19oz center-cut top sirloin; boneless rib eyes/porterhouses/T-bones), plus tenderloin tips, fajita strips, carne asada, burger patties, three types of pork chop, and secret-recipe Italian sausage -- for the best, because no one wants to know what's in sausage anyway. Each piece is vacuum-sealed to order, frozen, placed in a dry ice'd styrofoam cooler, and UPS'd to your doorstep in 1-3 biz days (local shipping's under $10 and takes just a day); Cryovac-pouched meat keeps 6-8 mos, and thanks to the dry ice there's no need to be present when it's delivered -- though thanks to your neighbor Trent, there probably is need.HB also peddles its own all-natural steak seasoning; in the coming weeks more meats'll appear, from whole beef or pork tenderloins, to veal and buffalo, to chicken or quail breasts -- order as many of those as you want, because you're not a man to leave breasts waiting to be warmed up. Are you?