Man craves two things above all else: having his pick of women to dote on him, and the alcohol to convince him something like that could ever happen. Actually fulfilling both ends of the dream, Hottails Cocktails. Just launched by New York/New Orleans expats who waitress at Glo Lounge & Houston's, respectively, Hottails is a private bartender company that'll come into your home or office for virtually any event, sending freelance staff whose look and dress comport to your classiest or freakiest desires. Consultation starts with the booze (craft cocktails, beer/wine, inventive shots), but quickly moves on to more fascinating options: bartenders may be requested according to attributes from body type to hair color, and'll show up wearing anything from the standard black tank/miniskirt to tuxes, corsets, lingerie, or bikinis; the service can also book other entertainment from go-go dancers to DJs, but probably not dancing bears, because life isn't that awesome. For now, clients must supply booze (it's a licensing thing), but Hottails will supply the hooch-support system, both hardware (glassware, shakers, snifters, etc) and software like mixers and fresh fruit, ensuring your pervy behavior will not lead to scurvy behavior. As it grows, Hottails plans to secure additional governmental blessings to bring their own alcohol, add a portable bar, and supply strippers, whose only specification's that the physical appearance of the paper you hand over is "green".