Between planning a third Love Shack (possibly on the fertile ground where Mean Joe Greene once planted QBs) and cooking steaks that double as primitive weapons, Tim Love found time to drop by the First Annual Barbados Food & Wine and Rum Festival, where we caught him already four-shots-and-a-glass-of-white deep by 10:30am. Apparently alcohol only polishes his wisdom, because he dished out these gleaming nuggets:
What's the best BBQ tip you could give your average incompetent dude-at-home chef?
Salt and patience. You can't ever have enough of either.
If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life other than Shark Bites, what would it be?
Funyun-crusted halibut. Seriously. I make it all the time.
Your trail drive -- complete with horses -- from Ft. Worth to NYC sounds like just about the coolest thing ever. Where'd you get the idea?
I thought it would be fun. This was before the whole everything's-local thing. I wasn't trying to impress anybody, I just wanted a challenge. We gave ourselves three days and barely made it, mainly because we got held up in Philly when the cops threatened to tow our horses.
Can you even tow a horse?
I'm not sure, but they certainly seemed to be confident in their ability to.
You also coach your son's baseball team. Who're better listeners, a bunch of kids, or anybody who works in a kitchen?
The kids, definitely. They have a little more fear in their eyes.
Your flagship restaurant is called Lonesome Dove. Who do you think could eat more brisket, Tommy Lee Jones, Danny Glover, or Diane Lane?
Danny Glover. I've eaten brisket with that guy, and he can put it down. But none of them have anything on Robert Duvall. Now that guy can eat.
Now that Dallas has the shiny new Winspear, are you guys planning on protecting Ft. Worth's dominance in the North Texas opera world by kidnapping the Winspear's mascot and spray-painting "Winspear Sucks!" all over the hall the night before performances?
I don't even think we'd need to. It's almost too obvious. I think they know.
You're a noted devotee of Tuaca. What if they came out with Three-aca? Would you transition over or stick to your guns?
I'd have to go with the Three-aca. Nothing wrong with a good three-way, right?
Wait, where's your wife?
Over there somewhere, I hope.
Damn right that photo was by Arthur Bovino