When your dreams outstrip your practical experience, you bring in a consultant, whether it's a management expert to maximize the effectiveness of your streamlined staff, or a wardrobe expert to minimize the effectiveness of your huge ass. Harnessing outside skills to produce cowgirl authenticity, Jessie's Cafe Texas. Across from Town East Mall, Jessie's is the latest from the Cuellar family, who envisioned a resto run by a rodeo queen but, not being rodeo queens, had a cousin involved with the FW Stock Show source them a real live lady-cowboy (note: not a "ladyboy"); as a result, rodeo trophies and mementos now reside in cubbies above the bar, belt buckles are stucco'd into columns, wagon wheels serve as chandeliers, and the bar's walls & booths are covered in curvy aluminum to mimic the home-sweet-vehicle of an Airstream. The menu's mostly value-conscious Texana Grill holdovers (no T-bones, etc.); mesquite-grilled meats include the "Bubba's Choice" top sirloin, "Good Ol' Ribeye", and "Alamo" chicken slathered in Cookwell & Co. BBQ sauce; chicken-fried choices include steak, chicken, pickle coins and pork loin chops, or gorge on an onion/'shroom/Jack cheese chopped steak ("Jessie's Fave") or the same-topped "Jimmy's Chicken", a far tastier taunt than Jimmy's Fraidy Cat. Most meals come with two sides (mac & cheese, house-breaded fried okra, bacon-spiked green beans...); further belly-stretching comes via hot-sauce'd spinach queso, jalapeno & cheese-stuffed chicken "Wing Thangs", and "Industrial Strength Nachos" -- when everybody pounces at once, you'll know why OSHA mandates you wear a helmet. To evaporate your stress, the bar serves up two signature drinks (the Cuervo/Cointreau/Grand Marnier "Jessie-Rita"; the marg/sangria "Texas Twister"), while draft beers can be ordered in "Jessie's Jug", a 64oz milk jug that'll remind you why Fabian insists you never go anywhere without your Spanx.