The defense will look better next year. Now, so will your butt.

The beautiful thing about sports is that the minute one season ends with a former UMass Minuteman literally dancing on your grave, you can already start looking forward to next year. Start your planning with pants: Cowboys pants, from Loudmouth Golf.

Based out of San Francisco, this maker of fetchingly brash greens-wear was introduced by John "You Bet Your Ass I Actually Wear These Things" Daly to Jerry Jones, who gave them his blessing to plaster the iconic star on pants and shorts you're not even allowed to wear unless you're the Hollywood Henderson of tailgating. Coming in 100% cotton or 97%-cotton/3%-spandex "summer poplin", the rabid enthusiasm is avail in four fits: Regular, Easy-Fit, the Par 5 jean cut, and, for that fashion-forward "Uwe von Schamann" look, Euro-Fit. Seeking to accommodate all fans, Loudmouth makes these puppies to order, with waist sizes going up to 60 for the man sporting the even more desirable profile Women's Wear Daily once called "Kevin Gogan after a light snack of Uwe von Schamann".

They're also putting out Cowboys Cheerleader-style shorts, so whether you're a woman or a just a guy with a damn-fetching backside, now you can give a certain petulant former Buckeye something else to skeet about once our patched-up D prevents him from ever scoring another touchdown again.