The value of certain entertainment venues is timeless -- strip clubs will always provide commitment-free titillation, and bingo parlors will always be a tolerable alternative for older men whose five is always down. Bringing another old reliable to Uptown, The Penguin Dueling Piano Bar.
Penguin's a Columbia, MO import that, every Thursday-Saturday, gets the party started/finished with five hours of tickling & bellowing on a mirrored stage, mayhem backed up by two frosted glass-backed speed bars, with a touch of class added by first-come-first-sit ultra-suede sofas, and a touch of naughty by an all-female staff dressed in seductive all-black unis, all the better to part you from your Johnny Cash. Each week, the bar flies in a trio of ticklers (apparently there's a nationwide professional circuit for this sort of thing), each with different specialties (classics, current pop, country, etc.) they'll bang out on pro keyboards grafted onto baby grands, kind of like installing Terminator tech into Jimmy Cagney. The players' shtick includes hitting the bottle hard, hitting on women harder, cracking jokes, roasting/toasting deserving patrons, and refusing to play big standbys until they've been sufficiently tipped, so there'll be no Ob-La-Di without any Ob-La-Dough.
Though they're shying away from specialty cocktails there's plenty of hard booze, plus a dozen beer bottles and 8 drafts from Guinness to Fire Bite. There's no kitchen, but reservations of 10+ can arrange for catering from Nick & Sam's and, soon, The Common Table -- which could describe any table in a bingo parlor, so long as you did so very, very loudly.