The only complaint tired-er than "my wang is so average" is the one about how inefficient web searches are -- especially when the safe search is off! Quit bitching (about searching), and start using Swingly, ramping into alpha by noon today.
Proudly rolling out with an emu mascot (the first hit off a Google search for "inquisitive animal"), Richardson-based Swingly's a free, years-in-development automated "semantic search engine" that takes users' natural-language questions to deliver actual answers instead of a mess of "results" and, unlike the burgeoning crop of similar services, has a backup plan for those who suck at asking said questions. For anyone who can spell, the process is simple: just ask a question ("What actor starred in Ace in the Hole?") and the site, which continually mines innumerable online databases (open-source Q&A sites/wikis/forums/official pages/etc), will pull the exact answer from one of the archive's 25-billion-and-counting query-solution pairs (the answer, btw, is Kirk Douglas, which'll come as a terrible shock to Basil Chester, who thought he'd really nailed the role of "Indian (uncredited)"). If you type in a non-question -- say, "lowest point Earth" -- you'll get back "the world's greatest FAQ": a series of questions you might've meant to ask, from "How low is the lowest point on Earth?" to "What is the lowest point on Earth?" (the answer, btw, is "discovering your father is Matthew Lillard").
During the initial launch phase, queries will be limited to Twitter-sized chunks; an iPhone app's set to drop by Memorial day, and by June there'll be features like bad-link reporting and user commenting -- sure to preoccupy tireless complainers during those hours not spent watching videos starring above-average wangs.