Next-level 'tails under Larimer Sq

The secrets of Pie have enchanted men since ancient times. And also, there's that one weird number. Adding more mystery to that most mysterious of pastries: Green Russell

The newest from restaurant kingpin Frank Bonanno, Russell's a white subway-tiled, multi-bar'd, red booth'd drinker's lounge accessible (Thurs-Sun) via a secret door behind a counter in the semi-sham Wednesday's Pie, also a great name for a smutty 1930s radio play. An all star bartending squad (including full-timers late of Bitter Bar and Black Pearl, and moonlighters from Root Down and Colt & Gray) will barrage you with questions tableside to tailor a special 'tail to your taste; or, holler at on-menu coolness like the 10 year rye/ginger liqueur/prosecco "Bitter End", and the "Jalisco Sour" with grapefruit, black pepper syrup, and blanco combo'd with mezcal and Leopold Peach, not to be confused with Kate's Peach, which hints that she's got male. Gobbling comes via French bread pizzas topped with wild mushroom/goat cheese/sausage, sandwiches like one with black forest ham/munster/arugula/red wine vinaigrette, and apple/banana-cream pies from Wednesday's -- don't order them if you're with Jason Biggs: he loves these humpday treats

There's also a private dining room that can be rented out and catered with food from any of Bonanno's restaurants, like Mizuna, Luca, Osteria Marco or Bones (hint: insist yours are especially big if you're a fan of a certain mystery).